farewell to the mole me

So... I haven't updated you on my mole situation (I know you were all waiting with baited breath). About a month ago, I went to the dermatologist just to ask him if it was possible to have it removed. He had me lie down on his little table and take care of it right then and there.

I spent a week with a lovely band aid on my face which people would then get up the courage to ask about, and to which I would respond, "what do you mean?... what's wrong with my face?!"

Now the sore has mellowed into a sort of soft red spot on my face and people probably just figure that it's a zit that I will not let heal. When the truth really is, I'm so paranoid about infection and scarring that I rarely ever even touch it. Maybe I should have all my zits surgically removed so that I treat them with the same attitude.

This picture (from when I had my own cooking show) makes me miss my short hair... and my mole.

part 10 of 364

Things That Keep Melissa Alive

Part 10: Pecan Pie

I've had a lot of people tell me this weekend that my love of Pecan Pie makes me an old person. I have to admit, that's what I used to think before I tried it as well. For some reason it reminded me too much of mince meat pie (I still don't know what that is...and it frightens me). Take this side by side comparison... can you tell which one is pecan and which is mince meat?










Ok, so it's probably not that hard...that mince meat looks terrible.

Finally, at age 15 my horrible prejudice changed. I went to my cousin's wedding in St. George and for their wedding breakfast they had pecan pie. Since I had no other dessert to choose from, I figured I might as well try it and I was amazed how tasty it was!

I then started making the pecan pies for our thanksgiving dinner and I found out why it tastes so good. The filling is basically sugar, butter and eggs. Can't beat that! I have to admit, the pecans are my least favorite part of the pie, but the rest is just so dang good that I'll take the pecans as part of the package.

Add some real whipped cream to the top and you have a pie I can live on for a week straight. And believe me, I have.

view from church

ok, I walked out the back doors of our church yesterday and this is what greeted me.

So much for the smart car....how smart can it be if it scampers up a tree when it gets scared?

Did anyone else see this? What was it doing up there? Maybe it's like what the guy that spoke in the 5th ward stated at the end of his talk: "when you run out of gas, that's a good place to stop."

part 9 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive:

Part 9: Space Heaters

To illustrate the importance of the space heater in my life, allow me to relate my typical nightly bed routine (keep in mind, I live in the basement):

9:30 - Enter 65° bedroom and turn on space heater. Change to pajamas and exit bedroom, closing door behind me

9:35 - Enter bathroom and perform nightly face routine and teeth brushing

9:37 - Re-enter 70° bedroom and sit in front of my bed next to the space heater with a blanket over me and the space heater to read scriptures and about 1 page of a book before the hard ground causes my sits bones to start to throb.

9:55 - Turn off space heater and light. Enter my bed where I have previously placed a heated rice bag at the foot to warm my feet that are still ice-cubes after sitting huddled next to a space heater for 18 minutes.

11:00 - My feet finally warm up and I fall asleep

So... do I have a circulation issues? How does one keep warm in this stinking cold weather?!

On Saturday morning, our furnace started blowing cold air. Question: why does the furnace wait to die until the coldest day of the season to date? We lived in a 55-60° degree house until Tuesday night, but I was mostly fine because of (you guessed it) my space heater. I didn't really even use it much more than I usually do. Just my same bedtime routine and an occasional 10 minute (warm up my aching bones) sit in front of it during the day.

Now we have a nice new furnace and, of course, the weather has also warmed up.

november concert series: part 2

This was totally a week ago, but it feels like a dream. And yes, I mean a dream come true! I'm almost ashamed how happy this concert made me. If you ever get the chance to see Regina Spektor live, take it.

There were so many things that made me nervous heading into this concert. Like: Where to park? How to get to the concert? How smashed would I get in the mosh-pit? How achy would my cursed flat feet get from standing so long? How hot would I get? How well would I be able to see? How many times would we get mugged in scary downtown west salt lake?

Most of those fears turned out to be unfounded (we only got mugged once). Everything worked out as slick as a schoolmarm's leg (as grandpa would say). Maybe that's because I had a schoolmarm with me (and she really does shave her legs a lot, I think). Luckily we are drinking age, so we could head up to the slightly less crowded balcony and even squish into some seats behind a railing (#1 best part of the night: sitting).

While we waited the 45 minutes as they set up the stage between the opening act and ms Spektor, we were relishing our padded bench balcony seats with excellent view of the poor unfortunate souls on the ground floor. I figured it was a good time for the standard self portrait shot of the two of us. We took approximately 10 that looked like this:And unfortunately the final one was the most decent of me (the only one with my eyes open):

Here's a piece for you to enjoy, though I'm guessing it's not the same if you weren't there.

november concert series: part 1

Busy week for me. I miss the days when I would just sit on the couch and stare, expectantly, at the door waiting for my roommates to come home.

I'm not usually a concert attender (unless it features a symphony and/or the MoTab). I have made a few exceptions in my life. Here is my lifetime list of semi-popular music concerts:

• New Kids on the Block (12 years old, with ear plugs in my ears supplied by the marriott center).
• Lillith Fair (c 1999). It rained (beer and h2o) the whole time, we stayed for Patty, Dar, and Paula then gave up.
• Billy Joel 2007 - (hey, free tickets!) and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Wow, is that really it? I'm lame... So, considering I've only been to 3 real concerts in my life, going to 2 in one week signifies a busy week for me!

It kicked off Monday night with David Gray. Bad omen of the night: I was sweating the moment we sat down. Did they really have to have the heat on with thousands of people and flashing lights? Did I also have to wear a long-sleeved shirt with a wool turtleneck over it? (ah, my concert naivety)










The opening act came out and immediately started playing. She danced about like I would if I were on stage in front of thousands of people. That just made me like her. She even played the banjo! Ok - mostly, she just held it through half a song, but she did pluck out a few notes at the end. The thing I loved most about her songs are the variety of crazy instruments she used. There was some sort of crazy hand pump organ, a thing you blow into that has piano keys attached (my family totally had one of these growing up!), an instrument that sounded and looked like they were playing a saw and a lute...I think.

Learning of new artists always excites me so I visited her website yesterday and found this jewel of a "hello there" page:

"Welcome to my web house.

I suppose this means I'm a grown up now and shouldn't eat chocolate biscuit cake for breakfast.

Starting tomorrow.

Feel free to look around and stay awhile. Like my real house, I'll continue to add things until one day I can't find the cat and have to move,

Lisa

ps. thank you to my mother for knitting the wallpaper"

Reading that made me want to try her chocolate chunk cookie recipe also posted on her site. Too bad I don't know what "preheat your oven to 150 for fan ovens or 170 for fanless" means. (Cooking overseas is so confusing!)

The simplicity of her songs were a great contrast to David Gray's electric guitars and drums. I have to admit, I liked the songs best that were just him on the piano or acoustic guitar and his base player.

ps... you can download a free Lisa Hannigan song here at Amazon. Do it!

late bloomin' and bloomin' late

Mom always said I was a late bloomer. So, now that's my excuse for everything. Apparently it took me about 15 years longer than most girls to decide I actually wanted to be a girl. Maybe I didn't realize that most boys want to marry a girl. Not a tomboy who plays with snakes.

About 3 years ago, I decided it was time to start fixing myself up to be more attractive to the boys. These "fix-ups" included:

• Getting Lasik so I could once and for all dump my glasses and nevermore look like an alien in photos (at least from no fault of my glasses).
• Getting my ears pierced for the first time ever!
• Growing my hair out
• Starting a more aggressive face routine that requires morning and night dedication
• Working out more = once a week
• Using the "natural glow" body lotion. Now instead of fluorescent, I am just an incandescent glow in the summer.
• Learning what eye shadow was. Thanks, Tia!
• Kicking the board shorts habit
  
• Getting my first (and last) manicure
• Working at the temple (not only makes me a woman, but an old woman at that)

Next week, I will perform my latest transformation attempt by visiting the dermatologist to see about having my mole removed. Yes. THAT mole. You all know it. My mole and I have been inseparable for a lifetime (not for lack of trying, though). About 10 years ago, I went to my dermatologist and asked him to remove it, but he refused saying that it would create too big of a scar on my face if he cut it out and he didn't want to hurt my dating chances by creating that scar. Well, news flash for him: since none of my other amazing transformations have gotten me the dates, this HAS to be the culprit! So, I'm determined it must go. And I will go see the only dermatologist in Utah valley that takes my insurance to make it happen.

Fingers crossed...I'll let you know how it goes!

favorite things

Here are a few of them:

Favorite t-shirt:

Favorite depressing/wishful anonymous quote about my life:

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy."

Favorite cited quote: (I've been trying figure out how to say this ever since Prop 8)

"There are civil rights involved in this -- the right to speak your mind, to participate in the election, but you don't have a civil right to win an election or retaliate against those who prevail."
-- Dallin H. Oaks

Favorite horrifyingly depressing movie:

Seriously...I couldn't sleep afterward

Favorite new clothing item:

Plaid jeans from target. Without the heels, of course.

Favorite winter-time tradition that I just started:

Lining my nostrils every night with Vaseline to avoid nose bleeds at my desk, in the bathroom (don't ask), at the temple, and while driving.

my newest stallwart friend

Yes, I realize that's not how 'stalwart' is spelled, jenny jo....

Over the last several months, I have come to a realization: My favorite stall in our shared work bathroom has become my own personal stall. It doesn't matter if I wait until 4pm to use it for the first time in a given day...it always has the seat up to welcome me when I arrive (a sign that it hasn't been used since it was cleaned the previous night).

It used to not be this way, I promise. But, layoffs over the last year have apparently slimmed down our (and the lds church department who we share the bathroom with) female bathroom users. There are still a few other women at my company (who I assume still use the bathroom), but they must just use other stalls. I'm not going to say which stall it is, just in case some of those other women read this and want to steal my unused sanctuary. But there are at least 6 stalls in there and considering that I think there are only 5 women currently at my company, we could, in theory, each have our own stall! (I have not seen any church employees in there for months now)

On a bathroom related side-note: Stacey and I discovered the public bathroom bizarro world: Football games! I'm sure many of you already know this, but it's been a while since I've been to a real football game (is BYU considered real?....). So, at halftime, we braced ourselves for the long bathrooms lines only to discover that the men's line was HUGE, and the women's only had 3 people in it! More football games for me, please! And this time, I'll drink lots of water before hand.

officially I am an old lady

I went with my sister yesterday to get Walter's shots. Btw, my brothers and I bought my sister a golden retriever puppy for her graduation present (actually, so far it's just one brother and I that bought it for her...the other brother hasn't paid me yet [cough] Trevor.)

These are both pics from the day we got him 3 weeks ago. I swear he is twice this size already!

During our stay at the vet's office, I decided that there are some similarities to the temple.

1) You make friends with random people you sit by: EVERY person that came in with their tiny shi tzu or 12 year old mini beagle had to stop and fawn over Walter. And I quote: "A golden retriever puppy has always been my dream dog!" And in my mind, I would be thinking, so...why do you have that yappy little thing? I'm so glad I could get everyone else's dream dog for my sister. Luckily I think he's also her dream dog.

2) When you see people crying, just look away: After we had been waiting for quite some time, the exam room right in front of us opened and 5 people with very tear-stained faces came stumbling out, sans the little white fluffy dog they went in with.

I have to admit, I was a little worried what everyone there was thinking about these two women who brought their dog in... but my fears were unfounded because after my sister told one lady that we had talked to for a while that our mom taught piano lessons, that lady then turned to me and said, "that's neat that you teach piano..." That was a relief, and also made my sister laugh really really hard.

retreat, treat, eat

The relief society sisters met at a huge house in Heber to treat, retreat, and also eat. Sometimes you have to retreat to move forward. I'm not sure about the others, but I personally retreated from my job, my family, my messy room, my clean hair, and my sleep. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who retreated from sleep, though, because I went to bed at 1:45am and there were still a slew of people up.

Much of the evening was filled up with spiritual and sisterly togetherness. The RS pres. gave us an interesting thought on visiting teaching where we ended up comparing visiting teaching to a supportive bra (a truer analogy was never set forth).

The bishop also gave a great message about how we use our time and what is important to us. He had us make a list of all the things that were important to us in this life. Some were very general in their list, and some were more specific, naming such things as forks, cute clothes and hair. Bishop then asked us to decide what matters the most to us on our list and then modified that to deciding what should matter the most. That's when I realized marriage wasn't even on my list. Maybe that's my problem. Then he asked us what we thought would be most important 5 years from now. That was when I finally scratched "pegged pants" off my list.

Before bed we were able to cram in a few more activities that included eating brownies and ice cream, playing the game "scream" (through which we discovered there aren't a lot of screamers in our ward), tricking the 20 questions orb of magic by picking "the temple" as our mystery item, painting each others toenails, and putting early to bedder's bras in the freezer (ok, I wish...it just would have fit so perfectly with the theme of the night. eg: visiting teachers often feel like they are left out in the cold...?)

This paragraph was supposed to be devoted to my sleeping hours, but I think I won't toy with your patience by replaying for you all the Neil Diamond songs I sang in my head (and maybe a little out loud) to entertain myself as I didn't sleep.

In the morning, we took the shortest, most beautiful, most full of horse dung - hike (walk) I've ever been on.

Cudos to the relief society enrichment (er... I mean, "meetings"?) committee for putting it all together!

not-so-irrational fear

My whole life, I've had this paranoia that I stink. My family used to joke that I would wake up in the middle of the night each night to change my pajama shirt because I thought I stunk...and so what if I did? Would they rather I stink?!

In recent years, I've definitely relaxed a bit...sometimes I go a whole week wearing the same pajama shirt to bed. Sick, I know. I've found I'm even more laid back when it comes to keeping my temple dress clean. Every Wednesday night, when I slide my filthy dress on, I mentally vow to wash it this week, for heaven's sake! Only to make the same frustrated vow one week later.

About 2 months ago, I realized it had been forever since I washed my dress (plus it had just sat for those 2 months in the 70's hard suitcase I bought at DI for my temple attire) and its fumes smacked me in the face as I pulled it over my head before heading into the worker's meeting. As I sang the opening song for the meeting, an older sister came and sat right by me and then immediately buried her nose in my shoulder and proclaimed "you smell so good and fresh!"...words cannot describe the incredulous look I gave her, I was so shocked. I explained that it is impossible because I really really really needed to wash this dress. She seemed certain, however, that it was my dress that smelled so good. The next day, I made sure to wash it despite her glowing praise.

Now fast forward 2 months....and of course, I haven't washed the dress since then (I think it's actually starting to look gray). The same sister sat by me again last night and once again smashed her nose into my shoulder proclaimed the same thing. This time, all I could do was laugh straight through the entire hymn with her looking at me all bewildered. First of all: why does she only think it smells good when it's gone 2 months without a wash and sat in a mildewy suitcase for those 2 months? Second: This time she even asked me what brand of detergent I use. To which I responded, "um...the cheapest kind possible?"

So...does this mean that I should shower less too? Would I actually smell better if I was lazy about all my personal hygiene? - All this time, I guess I've had it backward....

question of the day

I am now on my 10th month of growing my hair out...such a slow and painful process.

This begs the question: Why can't my head hair grow as fast as my leg hair?

part 8 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive:

Part 8: Peaches and Cream

Usually, I avoid eating things that I love over and over....and over again in rapid succession because I tend to get tired of foods really easily. But I love this time of year, because I can make an exception to that rule.

3 ingredients: 1) Lemon Elberta peaches, peeled and sliced 2) Canned milk 3) Nutmeg

I have this for breakfast, mid-afternoon snack and before bed tummy soother... and do you think I've gotten tired of it yet? The great news is, even if I do eventually get tired of it, I have a whole year for my body to cleanse its self from the overdose and I guarantee that I'll be back to craving them again next August.

Might I suggest you try my 3 ingredient peaches and cream? Try it just once without sugar. The Lemon Elberta variety of peaches have the perfect tartness that can be spoiled by covering it up with sugar, in my opinion (Believe me, I have nothing against sugar...if it tasted better with sugar, I would pile it on every time). You may also shy away from the canned milk, and I admit that I probably only love that because that's what I was raised on. So, if you prefer milk or cream... or - heaven forbid - ice cream :), feel free to substitute that instead.

Peaches and cream before bed gives me happy dreams (last night, I dreamed that byu was beating Florida state 33-6) and sleeping happy keeps me alive!

I think I'll post this at my cubicle

Yup, that pretty much sums it up for me.

things that will no longer keep me alive

Sometimes love is a decision. Sometimes that decision is even financially based.

Have any of you ever had the South Hampton Sandwich at Gandolfo's? Let me tell you, it is heaven. Warm turkeylettucetomatoswissavocado on white bread heaven. But heaven has been consistently upping its prices. Today, my half heaven sandwich cost $5 even. No, that did not include a drink or chips. Yes, it did include 3 napkins. Good to know they are generous. Heck, for $5, they even wrapped the sandwich in paper for me.

Now, I can hear you all saying that every other sandwich shop is just as expensive. The problem with that argument for me is that none of them are good, so it's hard for me to care if their sandwiches are expensive. I have no problem ditching subway. And that's because they don't sell heaven. Gandolfo's does.

So sometimes you just have to say No to love. No to heaven. Maybe hell has cheaper sandwiches....

the ocd in me

Everyone has OCD tendencies, right? (nervous chuckle...)

Here are some of mine that I listed today:

Milk top blow: now that I use my own personal jug of milk, I have gotten used to blowing off the crusties before I pour it. No crusties must fall in my cereal! Now, I do it out of habit, whether it's my milk or not.

One side of my towel is for my face; the other side is for my body.

I must shower every morning but have no problem going to bed filthy (this could be why I feel filthy every morning)

I have to have perfect sleep conditions: darkness and silence (no ticking clocks or breathing).

I don't like walking on hard floors in socks: There are too many opportunities for the socks to get wet or dirty. I would rather my feet get dirty than my socks.

Sometimes I'd rather not have help with something if you can't do it my way.

I make my bed every day....it never looks good, but the covers HAVE to be closed so the spiders don't get in.

When I eat any sort of soft candy, I have to bite it in half first, to inspect the inside. Doesn't matter how small the item is. Gummy bears, jr. mints, good 'n plenty.

I can't stand when something is stuck in my teeth...I will pick at it with anything (candy wrappers work well).Thanks mom, I got it from you.

I like giving myself sort of 'mini-challenges'. Maybe it helps me feel accomplished on days when I don't accomplish much. (last week, I challenged myself to keep the "terminal" gmail theme on my email account for one week....it was hard, but so rewarding when I made it!)

Spacial relations. Sometimes I just have to shove one random item into another random item to see if it will fit or if my eyes are tricking me.

At work I have a collection of chip clips that I will clip on my body (mostly my face and arms) throughout the day. The eyebrow and the jaw line are particularly satisfying.

I have a floater in my right eye. Often times when I have nothing to do (standing in one place in the temple), I will try to direct that floater around certain patterns, or objects. I often times get very frustrated because it is near impossible to control the floater (frustration in the temple - is that allowed?).

In certain light, my eyes see things in slightly different colors. If you see me winking at you back and forth with each eye, It means I'm actually comparing my two eye color schemes.Yes, those are only the ones I thought of in an hour period of time. It really is a mystery why I'm not married yet.

umtiw mext thime (chip clip on the bottom lip)

part 7 of 364

Things that keep melissa alive:

part 7: Subtitles

I have had a strange fetish for foreign films for nearly 10 years now, but let's face it, I only know a few words in German and Zulu ('how much clock is it?' and 'merry christmas' respectively). So, it's fortuitous that subtitles were invented for me.

Recently, I discovered a new reason to love subtitles. I started running on my roommate's treadmill. I like treadmill running because I can regulate my speed so that I'm not dead after only one block. But I found that in order to watch a movie and be able to understand what was being said that I had to crank the volume level to earsplitting and beyond. So earsplitting that every sound that is made comes with a crackling static sound. I almost gave up on treadmill running as soon as I started for that reason alone.

Then I watched a foreign film and (I kid you not) I thought: Wow, using subtitles is great...I don't have to have the volume up so high. I should just watch foreign films while I run from now on! It took a little while to realize that most movies have the subtitles option, even english ones. so, I've been reaping the benefits of that brilliant discovery ever since.

A few of the advantages and disadvantages of subtitles:

Having to read swear words. Couldn't they just have a bunch of little **** stars or something?

The lame unnecessary explanations in parenthesis: '(making gagging sound while almost vomiting)'

Bad acting can hide behind good subtitles: Reading subtitles can take your attention away from how the actor is actually saying it.

Some things sound beautiful and poetic until you read their translation. Example:"Oh rey chori" = "oh my lassie" (this can be great or painful...it depends)

You don't have to have the volume up so loud that the whole neighborhood knows you are exercising.

Subtitles keep me exercising and that keeps me alive!

30 rocks

...Especially when you get to celebrate it for more than 30 days.

Here are some of my favorite moments from the condo stay last weekend:

1- Louisa arriving before the rest of us so she got to go through the pain of checking in, etc. All we had to do was drive right into the driveway like it was home sweet home. Thanks, Lou!

2- Teaching Julie to play guitar hero...soon none will be untouched by its influence!

3- 7 people with swimming suits + 7 seats in the hot tub = perfection (...snug perfection)

4- Falling in love with Ralph Macchio all over again.

5- Approx. 1:00am when the TV stereo in the family room decided to randomly turn on at volume level 99.

6- Pancake, egg and hash-brown breakfast! Thanks, Carla!

7- That time in Pearl Izumi when a customer thought that I worked there. (I knew it! I'm so sporty!)

I'm glad I had friends to celebrate with! (although, spending time alone in a hot tub isn't without its perks)

part 6 of 364

Things that keep melissa alive:

part 6: 2 minute noodles

Here's a little ode to a food that has kept me alive at various times in my life:

Raman noodles, you are so good to eat.
you last forever and smell a little like feet.

I have to admit, you never sound good
but once I eat you, my mouth says, "food!"

So many flavors, I stay interested.
except the shrimp, cause I can't digest it.

you help my budget cause you are so cheap.
but what are you made of, you strange little heap?

I'll tell everyone that you can't be beat.
cause you're so fast to cook! good to eat!

The above is a pic of my favorite kind of 2-minute noodles. The foreign kind. This one was curry flavor. That's my favorite. It's especially helpful for sinus congestion.

part 5 of 364

Things that keep melissa alive:

part 5: Music

I know what you're thinking...this is the same as part 4 and you're kind of right...my main reason for liking music is so that I can sing along (another good reason to work from home and not in an office near other living beings with ear drums).

This is slightly embarrassing to admit, but leaving on a mission for a year and a half, I knew the thing I would miss the most would be my music. But my music collection isn't even that vast thanks to my cutting edge 4gig ipod mini. It forces me to sacrifice songs on it that I don't love to make room for new discoveries.


And here they are. I've liked the artists for a while, but the one album just came out, and the other I didn't know existed until a few months ago.

Every once in a while, an album comes along that has such a high percentage of favorite songs on it, that I actually purchase the whole album. And in the case of these two, I wanted the actual physical cds. I'm not really sure why. If I wasn't so cheap, I'd probably get the LP's too.

Bravo ladies. Keep up the good work!

Songs sacrificed to add these two albums to my ipod:

All the Jack Johnson songs that skip
All the Dave Matthews songs that I never ever listen to. Something is wrong with me. I keep thinking I should like him but he just doesn't excite me.

trust me to freak out about nothing

So, I tried something new today. I tried flying standby. I had originally planned to fly out after work today, but found out a couple days ago that our company was giving us the day off. So I thought I'd try for an earlier flight. I saw that there was one leaving at 10:20 am so I showed up at 9 to try and get standby on that flight. Luckily there were ony 2 people in line ahead of me and there were two check in agents so I figured it would be a breeze....

35 minutes later, I'm still waiting to try and talk to someone about standby. All these other customers would come and use the automated check-in and then the check-in agent would have to help them each for like 5 minutes...what takes so long to print out a check slip for luggage?! Here's where I found myself getting more and more distressed...not only was helping these people taking forever, but they had all come after me! Would I ever get someone to help me?!

Involuntarily, I began slightly shifting my rolling luggage back and forth in an agitated manner. Finally, there was one man between me and help and as it took the agent forever, I must have given the guy (the customer) a very withering look because he asked me when my flight was. So I told him I was trying to catch the 10:30 flight. Seeing that it was only 9:45, he didn't seem to feel too much pitty for me and he even started chatting and joking with the agent and they continued even when he was all done! But I wanted to get up to the gate and get on the standby list!

Finally, the agent helped me (and surprise, it took about 30 seconds...why does everyone else take so long!?) and told me that he could book me all the way through to my final destination on the earlier flights! Wow...suddenly, it didn't matter that it took so long for him to help me. I didn't even have to do standby on any of my flights! Life was good.

Even the security line was super short and I walked up to the guy and handed him my ID and naturally he said "Hello, Sir.....(long pause before he looked up again)....I mean, Ma'am."

I seriously loled and said, "that's why I grew my hair out, so that this wouldn't happen any more!!" What does this mean? Have the last 8 months been a waste of time?

I rolled up to the gate and viola, there are all the same people that I had been agitated around. I find my seat on the plane and sit down....guess who sits by me? Of course it's the guy I was most agitated around. He sits down and smugly says, "you got on!...did you really think you wouldn't?...you sure were shaking"

choose your own moral of this story:

1- Always be courteous and friendly because you might have to share the next hour and a half in a 4 ft space with that person.

2- Act as agitated and desperate as possible so as to elicit sympathy from the check-in agent.

3- I look like man with an a-line hair cut and highlights.

what are little ghettos made of

I made a terrible discovery this weekend.

Friday, I stopped by my mom's house to get her mail for her and also the mail of two of her neighbors. One of them lives around the corner on 4th east. So I walked down to retrieve their mail. As I walked back toward's mom's house, I passed a tiny duplex and heard a very unnerving sound coming from its front lawn 10 feet away. I turned to discover a tanktop wearing man throwing up on the front steps. I, feeling slightly embarrassed because I was remembering what it's like to throw up in front of someone, kept walking by pretending like I didn't notice.
Here's my issue with it: The front door was open which means, he had just stepped outside to throw up? Why would he come out the front door to throw up in front of who knows who and their dog instead of using the back yard or...heaven forbid, the bathroom toilet?

The next day, I was washing my car in my mom's front yard and I overheard a man yelling at his wife on the front steps of a different duplex across the street from my mom. I counted about 10 words that started with the letter 'F' in only a 20 second period. It made me realize two things:

1- My home street is ghetto and only getting worse

2- What makes someplace the ghetto is simply that people suddenly decide to display all the things they should be embarrassed about on their front lawn....old broken down cars...throw up...arguments...you get the idea.

...'and her mamma cried'....

activity bag - temple square edition

Can I re-emphasize enough how much I enjoy the activity bag? Last weekend, my friends lured my up to SLC under the guise of a sleepover and then surprised me with an extended birthday party. We ate dinner, had cake and ice cream and then they pulled out a special activity bag that they had made for downtown Salt Lake.

It included such activities as:

Measuring up to Joseph (notice how much I grow in the course of the activity):


In like a Lion; out like a roll: New discovery: show up to the Lion House right after they have closed their cash register and you get your rolls free!

Stopping to smell the roses on temple square: Also featured: my new haircut (no more damaged ends!) and some random lady's pony-braid (are people doing those again?!).

Getting committed by the sister missionaries.

Looking like fools as we use Adele's car to blow up our air mattresses for the sleepover and then carrying them back to her apartment:

The weather was so perfect! Thanks, ladies, for a great time.

update: what I will do with $600

Thanks for all the input and advice! Your suggestions and visiting Jack's tire and oil for my oil change yesterday helped me determine my course of action:

$300 - will go to new rear struts for my car.

$150- will go into savings (the big pot which will eventually be used for a mac and a house)










$100 - add to my Roth

$50 - for my july budget...it's looking a bit on the thin side.

what would you do with $600

ok, so I got a surprise check in the mail this week from Utah Retirement Systems. Apparently they were tired of my Retirement fund from when I was working at the Orem Library going untouched and decided to just close it out and send me a check (with 20% taken out for taxes, of course). I should also note: This retirement account is my only retirement account. Isn't that sad that the only job I've had that offered retirement was my very first job when I was 16? So what should I do with this check?

1) Add it to my Roth IRA never to be touched again

2) Put it in my savings account to perhaps be used towards a house down payment

3) Buy the macbook I've been eying (ok half of one)

4) Find a $600 flight somewhere....

5) Take my family and friends out to eat many times

6) Other (please specify)

last night, driving home at 10pm

I saw a man who was obviously blind (he had the stick and everything) walking along state street. I immediately panicked and thought, "he should not be walking in the dark!!" Heh...this begs the question:

What is the difference between a blind man walking along state street during the day and a blind man walking along state street in the dark?

A: all the panicked motorists driving by

Other puzzlers of the week:

If a graphic designer leaves for a long lunch and no VP's are there to see it, does she really leave?

If my roommate's room isn't even connected in any way to mine ~ plus ~ the washer and dryer are going, why can I still hear every word of her 11:30 pm phone conversations?

why do I trust my 2 year old nephew completely with my brother's iPod touch but not with my Motorolatm phone?

sub puzzler: How does a 2 year old intuitively know how to unlock an iPod touch?

How does one purchase 90 ice cream bars in logan on her way to Bear Lake if she is traveling on a sunday?

ok, thanks for playing.

part 4 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive:

part 4: Singing at the top of her lungs.

Lately, I have had a return visit from my old anxiety stomach friend. I tell you...some friends just won't take the cold shoulder hint. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with a strained relationship with him. Some refer to him as "pit"...like a pit in your stomach, I guess. I think that is a fitting description of him. This "pit" is the worst of all friends...he keeps me up late at night and then wakes me up early with sharp stomach pains just to remind me all the things I have to worry about in life. Sometimes he gets me up so early, I could cook myself a 7 course breakfast before heading off to work. Too bad "pit" takes away any appetite I might have for waffles and bacon.

Yesterday was particularly a bad day for me and Pit (he's now a pronoun). He gave me runny tummy (for lack of a better term, sorry) in the morning after he insisted on a 5am wake up call, and then took away my appetite for the remainder of the day. It wasn't until the evening that I found something that scares him off: My singing.

I used to play guitar every night before bed for like 10 years straight. I found it mellowed me before bed. Then I moved out of my parent's house 4 years ago and realized that my roommates probably wouldn't be quite as accepting of loud guitar and yelling at 11pm....so I stopped. Is it a coincidence that Pit showed up at that same time?

I've been playing more again lately...as I've gotten more brave to play around roommates. Last night, I decided to look up some songs by an artist I'm rediscovering. I was happy to find 3 different songs of hers that I could learn in basically one pass. They were so easy! One unfortunately had a DADDAD tuning which requires a little effort to transition the guitar to and from, but once you are there it's super easy! Plus~ it allows me to sing at the top of my lungs and that keeps Pit at bay and me alive.

Here's the song I learned with the different tuning:

best way to get people to come to your reception

On the invitation, it simply stated:

"There will be a receiving line from 6:30-7:00
Please be in your seats for the show at 7:00
the receiving line will resume from 8:00-8:30"

Show?! what is the show?
Ok, I had to go just to ease my curiosity.

Awkward melissa moment: my name wasn't actually on the invitation. But I went anyway because I was so curious (hoping that they just sent it to the wrong address and assumed I got it). But when I gave the bride a hug, she was like "oh, I sent you an invitation and it came back in the mail as undeliverable..."

"oh...good thing I decided to crash your reception anyway!"

weekend: signs of spring

Went to my sister-in-law's (something tells me it's supposed to be sister's-in-law...but oh well) graduation from Westminster college. My favorite moments of the day long celebration:

1- The bird that pooped on my shirt* (including an undigested worm) with incredible aim...right in the center of my chest.

2- When my brother and sister-in-law footed our brunch fee and my mom bought my dinner for me.

3- The more than 50% of the graduates that were "cum laude". First of all, how does that work?! Second, wouldn't you feel like a loser when you're in the minority because you're not cum laude?

4- The girl who had soccer cleats around her neck instead of honors ropes.

5- All the professors who could not hood the masters students without gagging them...every time.

6- The 40 minutes total of bagpipe music as the graduates and professors took the longest time possible to march to and from their seats.

7- There's always that one girl that insists on hitting the uber high note at the end of the star spangled banner when performing it.

8- Sitting by my friend Catherine at church the next day when she leans over and announces: "I went to a 3 hour graduation yesterday!!..."

* the same shirt I threw up all over a month ago...I think that shirt hates me.

Part 3 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive:

Part 3: Lunch Walks

I started doing these a few weeks ago. They serve several purposes:

1- Warms up my body that has been surprisingly chilled in the refrigerator of our office. seriously, I never notice until I walk outside and then I suddenly realize how nice the warmth feels.

2- Lets me eat in peace, with no one listening to my banana chewing, wrapper crinkling, choking sounds, etc.

3- I can practice my long baseball throws in the field I walk next to. I can't wait to see all the apple cores and banana peels when the grass dies in the winter.

4- Makes me eat healthy things (for example...you can't eat a costa vida sweet pork burrito while walking).

5- Builds up callouses on my feet that have been babied way too long.

6- I can finally let out all the songs I've been dying to sing all morning.

7- loosens up my shoulders that naturally tighten when a computer monitor is placed in front of me.

All in all, it's a good thing. Feel free to join me sometime (i hope you like badly sung Neil Diamond).

you're crazy social. you must like dark chocolate.

I just noticed that this will be my 100th post to my blog. 100 feels better than I thought it would....


My sister sent me an article today that changed my life...or at least made more sense of it. In this article, it states that the area of our brain that inclines us to socialize is the same area where our love of chocolate is stored. That possibly these two things are even related. Looking back at my life, I have determined these scientists know what they are talking about!

As you can see, from the graph I created to represent my life so far (photoshop always makes images so much more classy, doesn't it?), I was not really a social child, and even now I am only mildly social. In my early 20's I learned in a quick few years the social abilities that I now have. It's fair to say that that inclination has now leveled off (ok, I think it's heading back down, but I'm pretending it's not).

Same story with chocolate. I never liked chocolate cake or just plain chocolate bars growing up. I did like candy bars that consisted mainly of other things like peanut butter. In my early 20's I started to gain an appreciation of actual chocolate (sorry Hershey...not you) and I began to realize that I actually like chocolate cake as much or more than vanilla cake. That love has leveled off a bit, I think...or has it? Is dark chocolate next? If so, I better start planning more parties.

Part 2 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive:

Part 2: Lost

This was me this morning when I realized that there were only 18 episodes of Lost this season (also, I need a shave).

18 episodes?! And at least two of those were stinking recap episodes that only told me things I already knew (and that's saying something because Lost usually lives up to its name with me)! Other dramas don't waste time on the recap episodes and they still have more quantity (though I guess we could argue about quality).

Just to make sure I wasn't off my rocker in crying injustice, I checked how many episodes other drama shows on all the networks have:

(NBC) Heros: 25
(ABC) the other dramas: 22-24
(CBS) Numbers: 23
(Fox) Bones: 25

So: How do they get away with only having 15-16 legit episodes a season?! Is that not criminal? I should just remember that every season I go through the same trauma (ok, this season I plan to make it a tradition): During the episode I think approximately 5 times: Ok, this is just ridiculous, why do I watch this show? By the end of the episode I'm thinking: I need the next episode NOW! But by the next week, I'm back to thinking: meh...I can wait to see it for a few days. It's just mean to toy with our emotions like that.

Here's a great snl sketch from season 3 (I think).

Also, here is possibly my favorite moment of this season. Hurley is my favorite.

I'd like to publicly thank Carla for the use of her DVR that makes it possible for me to watch Lost whenever it suits my fancy (and is convienient for Carla). She keeps my addiction alive, and that keeps me alive.

welcome to part 1 of my 364 part series

Things that keep Melissa alive:

Part 1: Shoes

It's irony, really...because even though they keep me alive, they are killing me, financially. I bought 4 new pairs of shoes in a 3 week period. I realized they were so important to me when I noticed that a high percentage of pictures I take with my phone are of my shoes. I have only had my new phone for a couple months and have only taken about 10 pictures with it, but here are the ones that are of my shoes. My old phone was riddled with them...notice the view of two of the images...looking down from my lap. I wonder if it has something to do with needing a time filler while in the bathroom.

(Hi Judith!)

(ok, some pairs I just dream about....)

Shoes are my vice in more than just the monetary way... I have no padding on the soul of my feet. Thus, my feet constantly hurt if I have to stand more than about 5 minutes on them. Also, my feet have been growing again so many of my favorite pairs of shoes that I bought a year or more ago are now getting too small. My temple shoes were torturing me also so I have spent the last year looking for the perfect pair. Finally I found a pair at Kmart 2 weeks ago that look just like something a little old lady would wear. Since I can't take pictures in the temple, I just spend my time during the session looking down at my shoes (lap view) and loving them. They're so hot! (also, my feet get really warm in them)

my three favorite mother's day moments: 2009

1. Our bishop announced that after church we would have a special mother's day activity on the back lawn of the church. Usually, they give us flowers for mother's day (I never really understood, but whatever), so I figured that's what it would be. Suddenly, the guy sitting next to me (I think he might be 12 years old....) leans over and says, "why do we celebrate mother's day in the single's ward?"
-To which I responded, "well gosh, I don't know...I'm sorry if it's a problem for you."
-Then he whispered really softly, "Is it because it's an older single's ward?"
Words cannot express the incredulous look I gave him.

2. So, after Relief Society, we all went out the back door to claim our plant/flower that we could do 1 of 2 things with: Give to our own mothers who are actual mothers or keep and watch it slowly die. But when we walked outside, instead of a long table with little plastic pots on it, there was a long table with brownies, waffle cups, whipped cream, hot fudge, nuts and a soft serve ice cream machine.

Best Mother's Day Gift ever.

3. At ward prayer last night, they had us go around the room and tell what our mothers taught us. Most people said things like "how to show compassion" or "how to reach my goals" or "that I am loved unconditionally". Then one of the last girls was like, "my mother taught me not to be afraid of death." I wonder if there's a story there....

Funerals lead to nose bleeds

Yesterday was good. And by good I mean, good for me spiritually. And by that I actually mean horrible.

Sister Hinckley said, "I laugh because crying gives me a headache." Problem with that policy: what about those situations where you can only cry? -Like me at a funeral.

I went to a funeral yesterday. A good funeral. A long funeral.

Here is my conclusion about funerals:

me + Funeral = Crying

me + Crying = Headache

me + Headache = Vomiting

me + Vomiting = Nose bleed

I would like to apologize to Davis (the passenger in the car I was driving) and everyone driving in Downtown Salt Lake at rush hour who had to witness me puking my brains (which were pink from the jello I ate) out in the middle of South Temple and 2nd East. Also, lest you think throwing up isn't embarrassing enough, just wait until your nose starts bleeding while you are throwing up. Ah...good times. Definitely one of the simple pleasures in life.

About the funeral: It was definitely one of the best funerals I have ever been to. So many good things were said. Elder Cook said some very good things about the sting of death. Funerals have a way of helping you get to know the person in a way you never would have. Like the picture of Derek on the back of the program with his hoodie, slightly crooked basball cap, flashing his cell phone next to the scripture Mosiah 2:41 "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual."

Perfect.

me + week of simple pleasures

I want to turn a new leaf. A positive one. I have been noticing that nice things are happening to me. Mostly little things. I think what kickstarted it was my trip to Cambria, CA. That place is just blooming with pleasures of the simplest kind.

1- Stopping at H & M in vegas and just as I look at the mall map and mutter "I wonder if they have a Fossil..." having Stacey poke my shoulder and point to the fossil store right in front of me.

2- Tearing a hole in my new shirt from H & M the first time I wore it...and wearing it again anyway.

3- Taking a walk on this road on Easter Sunday and running into an Indian man from South Africa (yup...they still talk just as much as ever, even in the U.S.).

4- Missing Easter bonnets and then seeing a 12 year old girl wearing gloves and a bonnet at church.

5- Realizing later (when she was teaching R.S.) that she's probably my age.

6- Sitting on a cold windy beach in my new swimming suit trying to stay warm and having the blowing sand exfoliate my skin.

7- Seeing these paint splotches while canvasing the surrounding hills of Cambria for good photos and knowing exactly what they mean.

8- Upon arriving home, finding out that my landlord fixed the rattle in the pipe to my bathroom. It's nice to wash my face with warm water again....

9- Driving my car for the first time after returning and having the annoying clicking sound my car had been making for 2 months just magically stop.

10- Having everyone fawn over my new hair style that took a lot less longer to do than the one no one ever commented on.