Thursday, March 27, 2008

mental note: do laundry before next wednesday

I've gotten slack in my compulsiveness to be on time. I relaxed and left work 5 minutes late yesterday to get to my temple shift. I lazily sang along to U2's Ultraviolet Love as i took my usual route that turns at the purple turtle. Then I notice that the road I take that breaks off to the temple is closed and I think no big deal. I'll just go up to highland and take the Alpine highway back down to the temple. The only flaw in that plan is that I wasn't sure which road, exactly, was alpine highway. About the time I was crossing the railroad tracks in American Fork, I figured out that I must have taken the wrong road. No big deal, I think...I've found it before by just looking above the trees for the steeple and driving towards it (all the while thinking how dangerously fun it will be to walk into the meeting late). I spot the steeple and drive towards it. It's just a church. Curse this valley for having so many steeples! I drive east looking for it, then west, then north. Then I just give up and drive back to state st to go a way that I am certain arrives at the temple (since it seems to have vanished off the face of the earth). Traffic is terrible and I end up going the wrong way on state and have to drive a ways to turn around. By this time I'm literally yelling everything but obscenities (come on...I'm driving to the temple) at the top of my lungs in my car. A Harry Nilsson song randomly plays and I am no longer carelessly singing along. It's the mellowest song I own but is helpless against my raging inferno:

Open the window and take a deep sigh.
Think about letting the rest of the world go by.
Taking it easy, is easy as pie....

Says you, Harry.

I finally make it through traffic to the temple an hour after I left work. I throw on my dress only to realize that it is a crinkled mess and has three large, greasy stains right on the front of it. Figures.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

conservativity

Ok, so Republicans are called "conservatives" but Democrats (liberals) are the "conservationists". Why is this? If Republicans are so called Conservatives, shouldn't they be conservative about everything? That would include fuel consumption, energy usage, natural resources, spending, foreign policy um...and many other things.

I recognize that I know basically nothing about politics and, I'm not gonna lie, I read up on 'conservatism' on wikipedia and I understood about 2% of it. But maybe this post is more just about our usage of the term conserve. I guess I could also complain about the democrats use of the word liberal. But it seems that would be a topic for a different post.

So can I be a Conservationist Conservative? Or do two positives equal a negative... (or depending on who is reading this, two negatives equal a positive. Pick your flavor). Better yet if I am both of those things (which means I'm basically a democrat and a republican) do I cease to exist? Like maybe being both causes confusion in the cosmos and worlds begin colliding in catastrophe. I hope my roomates don't wake up in the morning to find my fiery remains scattered across my bedroom floor.

Friday, March 14, 2008

it's a girl II

Ok, so I withheld some information on my last it's a girl post. The same night we got manicures, I also got my ears pierced! It really is about time that I became a girl. Notice in the first picture how I'm not even flinching? Yeah, I'm tough... or she just hadn't pulled the trigger yet.

It has now been more than a month and, in hindsight, there are a few things I would have done differently. I would have actually read the instructions that came with the alcohol solution they provided me. Which means I wouldn't have spun the ear rings playfully all day long the first couple of days. Which means my earlobes (especially my left) wouldn't have become all irritated (and infected?). Which means that I wouldn't have been laying on my back awake at night for 2 nights straight trying to ignore the throbbing pain. I also wouldn't have been forced to be creative in the positions I slept (a rice bag can perform many functions, I find).

My fav part of the night was the bag they provided me to carry with me to my manicure. It just screamed "yeah, I'm 28...and finally became a girl".

Monday, March 10, 2008

melissa's bottom 10

Please excuse me, as I have nothing to post about today.... Let's face it, there are not many pictures of me that turn out well. So I thought I'd help my humility a bit by sharing the ten worst pics of me from the last year. Think of it as one of those 'get up to date on my life' emails. I'm sure there are some pictures of me out there that are worse that I've just forgotten about or I don't have access to. I'll find and replace, if necessary.



Tonks







I think this one's from when I played the wicked step mother








Office light and a camera phone; not a good combo







I miss my glasses, and do I look 12 here?







Of course, everyone else in the pic looked great








Blurry is always better








Believe it or not, I had actually been awake for at least an hour







This one's like Jon's crooked climbing helmet picture. Clueless






Sick








This is my 'hey, thanks for checking me out' look

Thursday, March 06, 2008

tom cruise crazy



Someday I'll be able to play the ukulele like this.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

21 things to do in a snow-covered cabin

1- Eat!
2- Play a few GH3 songs on hard before giving up and resigning yourself to medium for the rest of your life.
3- Look for your book, that you swear was just here, for like 20 minutes because you want to read real bad!
4- Read for like 5 minutes before pretending to nap.
5- Pluck out the first half of 'blackbird' on the real guitar 27 times.
6- Play the other 3 'quiet' songs you know 15 times each.
7- Eat 3 deserts.
8- Throw up
9- Go on a walk and do high jumps in the snow.
10- Take turns wearing the only pair of snow boots so you can go sledding.
11- Go sledding without gloves and make your hands bleed.
12- Try hanging upside down on a zipline only to discover that you're too tall and your head is now dragging in the snow.
13- Laugh so hard at the person who ate snow upside down on a zipline that you cry.
14- Attempt to draw a million aspen trees in your journal while sitting on a 40 degree porch.
15- Play the only Mario DDR song on easy, medium, hard, and very hard before switching back to GH3 for good.
16- Watch Far and Away with the lights on outside so you can watch the snow falling at the same time.
17- Open a birthday present every time you hear a bird chirp.
18- Sleep in a cold basement.
19- Discover 2 space heaters as you clean up to leave.
20- Wake up in the morning to an earthquake/tree falling/snow falling off the roof
21- Shovel 10 inches of new snow off the path to the cars so you can leave.

Feel free to use these ideas on your own snow-covered cabin adventure.