I wonder if my recent reading of several books by labelled, "feminist" authors has effected me. But, yet I think this experience would strike anyone. I was cruising around work yesterday, unusually busy, when an older gentleman came in enquiring about used boats. I told him that I would go get a boat salesman for him. When I came back with the salesman, the older gentleman said: "funny that you had to go get him..." "heh..." I laughed but really had no clue what he meant. After he had talked to CJ for a while, they both came and were standing near me as I feverishly tried to figure something out on the computer. I should have known that more was comming from him:
"You're the one that everyone is jealous of here, huh?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you are so thin."
"Well, it's not for lack of trying, let me tell you."
"Well, maybe if they didn't make you do all the work around here..."
"Tell me about it" (I said jokingly)
"You've got to stop running this place and eat some food every once in a while."
"I actually am not too stressed here...it's a good place. It's probably other things that stress me out."
Just as I said this, the other female worker walked by us.
"She could teach you!" He offered helpfully.
"Teach me what?"
"How not to let stress keep you from eating...she's obviously got it figured out!"
(Uh, Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
and our conversation was over.
now, why did he not say that about CJ standing there the whole time!
May never know....
4 comments:
I could be way off base on this one but to some people, comparing men and women body types is precisely like comparing watermelons to apples. Guys are just meant to be bigger...and thicker. ;) That does not mean, obviously that there are not women who are larger than many guys...I happen to be one of them.
I think his tone of voice when he made that comment would have to be looked at to determine if he was truly trying to be deragatory to women, or if he was just making a comparison between girls. I think that he was simply comparing girls because 1) girls DO have more of a concern for their body shape than guys do and thus 2) he said earlier in your conversation that people would be jealous of you. I doubt the guys are, no offense.
Wow. I can't believe someone would say something like that. It weirds me out. It just seems mean to your co-worker. I don't really know what else to say, but that a comment like that never seems appropriate, especially not to a woman.
No. Never appropriate. But he was raised in a different time and different culture, which hopefully will help you look past the inappropriateness of his comment, and not get too offended for your coworker. As for her? Who knows how she viewed it. She may have been raised in a similar culture, so she may not have noticed it. Not that this makes it better, but that it takes longer for our ideals that we see as self-evident to trickle down the years to those who were not enculturated as we were.
Keep reading the "feminist" authors. There's some real good in there. Just make sure you search for truth in the right way, not blindly accepting whatevere is professed.
the one I'm reading right now is Virginia Valian. "Why so Slow? the Advancement of Women"
Very interesting....
Also, at the same time, I'm browsing through a Harriet Lerner book....she's always very insightful and the feminism in it feels similar to Virginia valian.
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