I read these last night in "I'm a stranger here, myself" by Bill Bryson. Thought I would share them:
2. People who wear articles of clothing on which the manufacturer's name or logo is prominently displayed must also wear a badge saying: "yes, I am an idiot."
3. If in the course of parking your car you are not able to maneuver the vehicle into a space in less time than it takes to undergo and recover from open heart surgery, it is not permitted to park in that space.
6. Martha Stewart is, with immediate effect, illegal.
9. Boxes of christmas cards that carry messages like "May your holidays be wrapped in warmth and touched with wonder" must bear a large label on the outside of the box saying: "Do not purchase: Message inside is embarrassing and sentimental."
16. Americans who intend to travel abroad in a group with other Americans must first clear their wardrobes with the author. British men must secure written permission to wear shorts outside their own country.
20. For an experimental period of ten years, smoking will be permitted in all those places where it is now banned and banned where it is now permitted. Nonsmokers who find smoke disagreeable will be permitted to step outside and loiter by the main entrance for ten minutes of each hour.
ok, so maybe I wouldn't vote for that last one...but here's a rule of my own:
--Those who buy Hummers must also be required to purchase their own parking lot to park them in and construct their own road-ways to drive them on since the majority of roads, except in Utah of course, are not wide enough for them to barrel down.
please add you own!
5 comments:
Sorry... bad typo.
Here's my rule:
Anytime a child enters the room, every adult present must smile and twinkle their eyes at said child. Any adult who does not know how to twinkle their eyes at a child must forthwith give the child a "horsey" ride.
Murphy's Law applied to Newton's: What goes up, must come down, but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.
A rule I discovered at work:
Nothing can be easy.
even when it is something so seemingly simple as wallpapering a TINY bathroom using wall paper that requires paste, tenacious pulling and re-adhering to line up palm tree fronds and the balancing of one's body with one foot atop of the toilet and the other on the sink focet around the other person (who is of no 'mean' size) feverishly trying to line up the bottom part of the pannel. Yeah, it was a cinch. Just like I thought it would be.
Another rule:
Those who jump off cliffs can't complain when they injure themselves.
Another rule:
Those who jump off cliffs can't assume that others want to hear their glory story of how they injured themselves.
I agree with the british men rule.
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