Parts 22, 23 & 24 of 365

Things that Keep Melissa Alive

Part 22: New Digs!

Part 23: Cool Ocean!

Part 24: New Job!

You know when people ask you what's new and you very lamely respond..."not much, you?" I got to the point where I thought I would never ever have anything new to tell anyone. Well guess what? New is now my middle name. I can talk for hours about New. Unfortunately, I don't have time to talk for hours about it on here and that's what this post is about.

Here's how it played out:

New Digs! - On Saturday, Nov 19th, I moved into my sweet new basement living quarters. I seriously love pretty much everything about the place. Here's the positives and negatives:

Positives:

1. Close proximity to the home I grew up in
2. Close proximity to Burger King
3. Continuing close proximity to McDonalds and Ridleys (they're everywhere!)

Negatives:

1. Close proximity to the home I grew up in
2. Lack of close proximity to Home Depot
3. Lack of close proximity to Del Taco

Obviously, I have made some big sacrifices to move here by giving up having del taco and home depot just around the corner.

Cool Ocean! - On Sunday, Nov 21st at 6am, I flew to Hawaii with my family for thanksgiving!

I'm pretty sure I have the distinction of being the first person to throw up in the newly dedicated Hawaii temple. The honor is mine, really.

I want to know who doesn't feel like this when standing in front of forsythia?

New Job! - Monday the 29th of November, I started my new job! We arrived home from Hawaii that same morning at about 2am, I slept for 4 hours and then got up to start my first day!

This is really the reason I am posting today. My new job is actually a JOB, it turns out. I am busy from the moment I sit down until 9-10 hours later when I finally pry my sweaty wrists from the formica desktop. This is very disappointing for me because it takes away from my usual job-type activities like: checking my email, IMing with friends, watching the occasional tv show on hulu, arranging my life via google docs...and blogging. Yes, blogging. It turns out, if I don't have time to do it at work, I don't really want to do it. Just so you know, I'm going to try to keep it up, but my goal is somewhat diminished. My new goal is once a month.

----

It seems like my life is crazy and stressful but I guess that's part of being alive! ...and that er... keeps me alive.

part 21 of 365

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 21: Family History

Ok, yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Nope... no job yet. And nope, I'm not talking about the huge victory at the polls for republicans. It's a different kind of 'best'. The source of this jubilation lies behind reason number 31 that I am an old lady: I love family history. But let me tell you, this is not your gramma's shoe box of pictures-family group sheet-Gedcom file-searching for film in the BYU library-Family History (not that I have anything against that). This family history involves cloak and dagger research skills, breaking laws, battling stickers in your socks, hiking for 30 minutes in unknown territory, and driving for 6 or more hours for hands on discovery.

Tour de Fort

Here are the basics: I have an ancestor who started the tiny bustling town of Hamilton Fort, UT just south of Cedar City. Online, it says he was buried there in Hamilton Fort but as I talked with relatives about it, no one was really sure where the cemetery was or if it even existed anymore. I was directed to a hand-drawn map by a great-uncle years and years previous. This map showed I-15 and highway 91 and a basic location of the cemetery in relation to those landmarks.

My sister and I packed our gps and water bottles and headed down to cedar city for the day to check it out. Wire fences surrounded the general area we thought the location should be and inside those fences, a saw mill. After hiking along a wash and climbing over and under 2 different fences, we spotted a small picket-fenced area. The closer we got to it, the more we allowed ourselves to believe this is exactly what we were seeking!

Inside the fence were about 9 grave areas. Some of the headstones were in quite good shape considering they were about 150 years old. All of the legible stones bore the name of Hamilton.

Suddenly my sister wasn't complaining so much about the legality of the trespassing we were doing. "Let the cops come!" we announced to the sky, "Any fine is worth this!"

We made sure to take our time documenting the location and contents of each headstone. Then, soaking in revelry, we started the 20 min walk back. Even the jack rabbit and deer we saw bouncing around us seemed to be celebrating. I hope so, because we're trusting them that they won't tell on us.

part 20 of 365

Things that no longer keep Melissa alive

Part 20: BYU Football

Oh hi. Has it been a month already? It's amazing how times flies when you're not doing anything of substance....

Lest you be offended that I haven't taken the time to blog, consider this for a moment: I have only watched one BYU football game this year. And that wasn't even the whole thing. I know, CrAzY!

Actually, most of you are probably saying the same thing with the kind of season they are having. You're thinking that I'm one of those fair weather fans. But, my history would show I am kind of the opposite, really.

For proof, I would direct you to:

• The BYU trading cards I collected in 6th grade from the D.A.R.E. program.
• There's also that time in 7th grade that my next door neighbor and I rode the UTA down to BYU to attend a football practice and get such autographs as: Eric Drage, Derwin Gray, and Ty Detmer. How many of you remember Derwin Gray?.. I rest my case. He is still my all-time favorite byu football player. If you don't know who Ty Detmer is you shouldn't even be reading this post.
• I had every season's schedule poster hanging in my room.
• I bought Ty Detmer's autobiography that he wrote right after he left BYU.
• I drew picture after picture of byu football players (including the one of Ty Detmer above).
• I made deals with God that if BYU could just win this one game against Utah that it would be ok if I never found my cat, Cougar that went missing.
• I named my black cat: Cougar.

I was reminded about my dying love this morning as I remembered one halloween when I was about 12 that BYU played Colorado State on Halloween night. I could not choose between the two events so I put on my costume over a radio headset and listened to the game while walking around the neighborhood holding a pillowcase and saying 'Trick or Treat' quite a bit louder than was necessary.

I ate, slept, breathed and vomited byu football from about the ages of 8-21. I add vomit in there because byu football games often gave me headaches which got so bad they would make me vomit.

My parent's coping mechanism for me was this: the moment a game made me cry, it was turned off.

Over the years, I developed my own coping mechanisms:

• The machete anger release. After a particularly bad game, I would take my dad's machete and head out back to vent my frustrations on the dying corn stalks.
• Watch with other (normal) people. This would encourage me to control my anger a little more.
• Don't watch at all. That's where this season comes in. Utah, anyone?

things learned from Mozzie

Not this Mozzie:

This Mozzie:

I am not referring to the quirky side-kick on the USA network show, White Collar. I am referring to the newest member of my family that I named after said TV show character.

I found Mozzie here on my search for fall leaves:

I have always wanted a horned lizard as a pet, let's just get that out in the open right now. So hiking along this trail and seeing dozens of Mozzie's running around at my feet was a dream come true.

Some ways I have discovered that I am like Mozzie:

• I, too, must be cold blooded because I, too, need a heat rock at the bottom of my bed every night to warm up my feet.
• I find that I can live on very little water, just like Mozzie
• I, too, can be hypnotized by a good back rub (ok... he likes belly rubs):

I know, I know.. he looks dead, but he's really just hypnotized by my huge finger rubbing his tiny belly.

And in the category of: Most startling realization I made about myself - The award goes to:

I will never sleep as a parent. The first day I had him, I looked up how to care for a horned lizard and read website after website that strongly urged not to try and care for a horned lizard because they are too delicate and complicated to care for.

So the first night I had him, I put some crickets in his cage and set it in the window sill by my bed. I lay there for hours anxiously worrying that he wouldn't even make it through the night.

I finally fell asleep and when I awoke early the next morning, I nervously peeked in the cage and to my joy saw him skittering around all lively. Two of the crickets were even gone! And the next morning another cricket was gone! Then... that day, as I cleaned my room, I found two tiny crickets bouncing around my shoes in my closet. The realization hit me that he was not eating the crickets afterall.. I can't even keep a lizard alive!

So today, I make the trip back up to buffalo peak to set him free. Maybe it really is better not to have a child then to be constantly worrying about one.

part 19 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 19: Facebook

Does anybody else have a love-hate relationship with facebook?

Loves:

• Being able to stalk a guy I'm interested in as far as his privacy settings will let me
• Reading minute by minute updates from all my facebook friends that I went to high school with but never really talked to who are sitting at home with their 6 children.
• I have 268 friends!
  
• When I have thoroughly checked all 3 of my email accounts then the next logical step is to kill time by reading everyone's statii (plural). Thank you facebook.
• That feature that allows you to de-tag yourself in any photo you choose. Why did it take me so long to discover that?
  

Hates:

• When someone doesn't use their facebook nearly as much as I do so it takes them 3 weeks to confirm my friend request. Meanwhile, I am left in agony wondering if they secretly hate me and it just took them 3 weeks to get up enough charity to add me.
• When facebook randomly decides not to notify me of life or death messages I have been waiting for.
  
• Farmville. And every other 'ville (except Springville... I mean, it's Art City!)
  
• The pressure to have every word I type on facebook be the height of wittiness. So instead, I type nothing.
• That you can't "appear" offline on facebook but still see everyone else that is online. Gmail totally lets you do that (next blog post: Why Gmail Keeps Me Alive and is Better than Facebook).

Today I saw an article on MSN: Facebook users are jerks, another study confirms.

Apparently studies show that "Facebook users are either totally conceited or serious self-haters." To which I say: Hey! I resemble that! Are they saying that no rational middle-of-the-road individuals are on facebook? So: Grandma and My Mom, I guess. And maybe 2 people my age that I know of. Or it could be that the normal people are those ones I hate that only log in once a month.

Speaking of Hating: "hating Facebook is a popular topic on Facebook". I almost posted the link to this article on my facebook status, but then I'd just be shooting for popularity.

part 18 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 18: Air + Pillow = best $5 ever spent

Have I ever mentioned the words Headache, Neck, Spine, or Smash-my-head-with-a-cinder-block on here? Let me give you a hint: Yes, I have.

I have a spine that was not made to do somersaults, sit-ups or sit on airplanes. But to be fair, was anybody's spine made to sit on airplanes? Do any of you out there find airline seats comfy? I can't figure out if they were made for super short, or super tall people because no one with an average height has the head rest hit them in the right place. While I'm on the subject, is there someone we can petition about this? What if I sent out a massive email forwarding campaign where people could add their name to a list petitioning to make airline seats fit human bodies, instead of aliens? I wonder who we send such a petition to...

Anyway, back to the survival of Melissa on airplanes: A couple years ago I borrowed my friend Julie's blow-up neck pillow and immediately decided they are pointless to use as they were made. But, I was so desperate for something to ease my discomfort that I just shoved it behind my shoulder blades and gasped in disbelief. I was comfortable! I found that if I don't blow it up all the way, it can be used more universally like on my lower back if I prefer, or wherever. I've even sat on it before when my sit bones were feeling airline-seat bruised.

It took me a while to realize that if it's great on airplanes, it's stupendous on a long car ride! But what about those foreign hotels that think a 1/4 inch slab of fluff = a pillow for a bed? No problem! Blow up the neck pillow as high or low as you need to make the tortilla pillow just the right height for your neck and shoulders. Then stick it underneath!

Forget Obama's health care plan. I'm trusting my well-being to my $5 velveteen neck pillow. Don't leave home without it!

the font of my mind

I've had fonts on my mind lately. I think it's because of my trip to California last week, and I'll explain why a bit later.

Have you ever noticed the font trends? Like clothing, fonts go through trends, as well. I think the first time I realized that the font world consisted of more than Times New Roman was in High School. Enter Comic Sans.


Every time I see this font, I think of my 10th and 11th grade math class. My teacher had apparently just discovered the fonts in wordperfect and decided that this was her favorite. She used Comic Sans on every math test, disclosure document, and bulletin board item. She must have been a trend setter because I then saw Comic Sans everywhere.

By now, the trend has mostly passed. The one exception is the lower grade school teacher (who I believe the font was made for anyway).

_____________________

Follow me to college in the late 90's and early 2000's when every wedding invitation used Papyrus:


This font was so overused in fact, that people began making fun of it

But, can you blame people for liking it? Wouldn't you feel more important receiving an invitation that looked like it was from the emperor of Rome?

_____________________

Enter the 2000's, and the stay-at-home-mormon-mother-photographer-and-blogger phase. Does this look familiar?


That's right: Scriptina. It started showing up EVERYWHERE. And I mean that. Blogs, wedding invitations (the new papyrus), billboards, company logos, and just basically anything that you wanted to attach heartfelt meaning to. It's still around, sadly. Because once you design permanently in Scriptina, you are stuck with a logo that is so heartfelt that no one can actually read it.

_____________________

I'd like now, to submit to you the future trendy font. As we know, California trends trickle west.

Let me introduce you to Copperplate Gothic Bold. Every grocery store in California had a store front that looked like this:


I even saw road signs in this font. I suppose that it could be that this font trend will stay isolated to the middle California coastal region but my bet is that we will eventually see it in the highly font-trendy Utah region. And with your help, we can make it happen. Copperplate Gothic Bold: First California, then Utah... Then THE WORLD!

part 17 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 17: things that help Melissa sleep

Laying awake at night counting my breaths has become more of a habit than I'd like believe but there are a slew of little tricks I've learned that seem to help. One of them might include pretending I'm Meg Ryan. But I've recently learned that her forehead is really tall and flat compared to mine, so now I don't know.

Today, when I logged into my work computer and my MSN started up, one of the articles that came up was about weird sleeping tricks to try. Here are the things they recommend:

1- Sing yourself a lullaby. I do this! I always sing I Know that My Redeemer Lives for some reason. I think because it's one of the more boring hymns to me. But, if I'm going for boring then I should definitely try The Spirit of God.

2- Rock yourself to sleep. I don't necessarily rock myself but I do two things that are similar: A) I rub my feet together. B) I also play guitar and that almost always makes me sleepy.

3- Curl your toes. I do this too! I had heard that flexing your feet, toes and other extremities and then relaxing them can improve blood flow and relax you.

4- Tidy your bed before jumping in. I don't usually make my bed too nicely in the morning. Just throw the covers closed so no spiders jump in. But, before bed I have to actually pull the covers tight and make the bed. Then I fold the covers back diagonally and climb into the cool, crisp, tidiness.

5- Write in your journal. I find that when my mind won't stop working at night, if I pull my journal out and write about something completely different then it helps me relax and stop thinking about what I was stressing about. Recently, I have been writing about each member of my family. The basics of their life and my favorite things about them. I just finished Rob's family. Now I will move on to Ken, Jen and their family. This way I kill two birds with one stone (family history, and sleeplessness)

6- Melatonin. According to the article, cherries have melatonin in them. I didn't know that. But for years I have had a bottle of melatonin supplements that I will take every so often to help me sleep.

7- Place a light weight on top of you. I now understand why I love to sleep with a rice bag. I use it in the winter to warm up my feet, but I have gotten into the habit of moving the rice bag to by sternum once my feet are warm. The weight on my sternum is just comforting and helps me fall asleep. I've also noticed that when I have a headache and I lay in bed on my back with the hot rice bag on my forehead, that it tends to put me to sleep. It has to be the weight!

I was shocked to realize that I do all of their weird tricks from time to time. (though not every single trick every night... good gracious). I also have some weird tricks that they don't mention. But, what do you do? Or are you one of those lucky individuals that never has a problem falling asleep.

Dale Carnegie said that no one dies from lack of sleep, but I swear my ability to sleep keeps me alive.

part 16 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 16: the hike

Most everyone out there knows about my headaches. They are still much of a mystery to me in how they hurt, where they are located and when they decide to arrive. But there is one conclusion I have made: My shoulders like to work. When they do, my head is generally happy.

So I try to take long enough hikes that require me to carry a backpack. And then offer to carry everyone's water. 2 weeks ago, Jon, Katie, Jenny Jo and I hiked from Big Springs over to Rock Canyon. That is probably the longest hike I've ever been on and by the end my shoulders were so tired...but oh so happy. There were also some pretty spectacular views from the top.

It's possible walter's feet hurt worse than mine by the end

Depression terraces

This last saturday, I went on another hike with my friend Catherine. We decided to explore the Oquirrh mountains above Kennecott. It afforded some pretty spectacular views of the mine and of Catherine.

Catherine in her element: Texting.

Working my shoulders keeps my headaches at bay and that keeps me alive! ~Now: what do I do when winter comes?

farewell: the suit

I regained my faith in mankind a few weeks ago. Then, just that quickly, I lost it again last night. Let me 'splain:

1) By mankind, I am actually not including women here. Just Men...or "Man"... or, more accurately: Boys.

2) It's one of those faiths that you don't realize you've lost until you find it again. Do you ever have that happen?

All clear? Ok, let me go back a bit farther.

The Provo Temple has been closed for the last 6 weeks. A few weeks ago, I was standing at one of the front positions late in the evening. During the half hour I was standing there, one amazing suit after another walked by me, exiting the temple. Not just nice or expensive suits. But a variety of stripes, cottons, tans, baby blues and grays and all perfectly fitting and straight-legged. Said suits left me amazed and a reunited with my ancient belief that man can dress himself; and do it well, if he has to. It also left me feeling a little guilty for checking out many a well-dress-behind as it walked away from me in the temple.

Last night I settled into the same position at the temple; anxious for my favorite show to begin. But to my disappointment, only ONE nicely tailored, brown cotton suit walked by me the entire 30 mins. Upon further mental evaluation, I realized that the Provo Temple is now open. Do you know what this means?

This means the nice suits have always been around. But they are only in the Provo Temple district. What else is in the Provo Temple district? yes: BYU. What does this mean, you ask? It means I am still attracted to 22-24 year old boys. yes: BOYS. How do I adjust my tastes so that I'm actually attracted to guys my age? I better start liking braided belts. Fast.

3 things very dull

Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been waiting for something exciting or brilliant to write about. But who knows when that will ever happen - so instead, I propose a game. You may submit 'either one thing very clever...two things moderately clever...or three things very dull indeed.'

Well I need not be uneasy; as long as I am allowed 3 dull things. And here are the dull happenings of my last couple weeks:

It's so clean and shiny!
A week ago, I was walking into the front doors of my work and heard this clunk on the windows above me and a bird landed at my feet. Now this is not the first time I've seen birds posed like this outside these doors:
But, this was the first time it happened right in front of me! When I looked down, it was a hummingbird and it was still moving a little bit so I bent down (because, hey, I've never touched a hummingbird before) and I pet him a little bit until he stopped moving. Poor li'l fella. Is it gross that I touched him? ...But he was still alive! The next time I walked in that building there was different dead bird, but this time I didn't touch him. I want to make a large sign and post it on those super shiny windows: "Danger!... it may look like trees and sky to you but it's not!"

I am not what I buy...but I want to be
I went to Texas this last weekend and while there we stopped by Hobby Lobby and I found my bedside table! Something about the curve of its build appealed to me. It didn't occur to me until a few days later that I'm drawn to it because I want to live through it. Me, a flat two-by-four, can almost be made curvy just by looking at this thing night and morning.

It also has drawers that easily hold my cell phone at night, of which I am envious. Jeans these days make me look like I'm packing a revolver when I have my cell phone crammed in there.

reason #25 that I am an old lady
I started drinking Ensure. I'm unsure how long this is going to last - my breath smells like an old-folks home for 3 hours after I drink it.

My grandma was recently moved to a different care center and as I walked in yesterday I thought: Wow, my Ensure breath is so powerful, it has contaminated this whole building!

Ok, maybe one day I'll have something clever to say.

part 15 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 15: A listening ear

For those of you who only know me from high school (probably nobody) then you might be shocked to know I like to talk. The rest of you probably already knew this and have already closed your computers at the prospect of hearing (reading) me prattle away yet some more.

I have discovered over the years that my talking through things isn't just enjoyable for me, but also serves a problem solving functionality. You don't even need to tell me the solution to my problem, but just me talking it out in your direction usually guides me to my own answer.

For example: many, many times I have IMed my boss in frustration about some sort of programming mayhem I am caught in and can't seem to fix. Every time, I either come up with the solution myself soon after, or it just magically starts working all on its own. The magic (I believe) is just in expressing my frustration.

I noticed Jeff experienced this same phenomenon a couple of blog posts ago. I do believe his solution was given in a comment... So sometimes the solution is right in front of us and we just need someone to point the way! I think I will try jumping on the magical tell-the-blogging-world-your-problems train and see what happens.

Here Goes: For 2 years now, my car has been dying on me at random inopportune times. I have taken it to shop after shop and no one can seem to diagnose it for me. Myriads of cables, sensors, motors and thingys have been tested, cleaned, replaced and prayed over. Nothing ever tests bad, and if we try replacing something it doesn't solve the problem. 2 summers ago, I tried putting higher grade gas in (though my shop said that shouldn't matter) and driving it on the freeway every 2 weeks and the problem went almost clean away. I think it died 4 times in the next 2 years. That's a heck lot better than 4 times a day. I figured I could live with that, but then 2 weeks ago, it started dying again.. but worse than ever! It would sometimes die 10-15 times just in one day. I started to get really good at driving my automatic car like a stick shift: Neutral, Restart, Drive, Stop, Die, Neutral, Restart, Drive...etc.

So I've been taking it to shops again, hoping someone would be able to find the problem now. But still nothing. No one can get it to die for them (of course) and nothing ever tests bad on the car.

I, of course, have had myriads of theories that I (of course) discover online. The mechanics always scoff at my naive attempts to diagnose my car. But what to do? They refuse to actually prove me right or wrong and in the end, I pay them $80 for a shoulder shrug.

I woke up with my latest theory at 5am this morning and looked it up... so of course, now I am convinced that my problem is the fuel pump. But what do you think? What should I do?

...ok, magic... do your thing. Fix my car, already.

And while you're at it, can you solve the mystery of the missing husband?

all about me

Do you remember that journal everyone had as a kid? It was called "all about me" and had an orange spine with ballet slippers on the front? (I can't find it to show you online, which surprises me because I think EVERYONE had one). It had my favorite color (green), tv actor (harry morgan), and food (mexican) listed in it. That made it All About Me.

My work paid for us to go to the "Get Motivated" conference at the energy solutions arena on Wednesday. Here is the number one thing they stressed about motivation getting:

"Today is all about you, so invest in yourself"

This made me feel so much better about being selfish! I always thought that putting myself first felt good and now I know why! I decided to invest in myself by paying $10 for parking for the event and going to Zupa's instead of Mcdonald's for lunch. But, I think they were hoping I would invest in myself by running toward them with my credit card in my outstretched hand.

The meeting began with us waiting for it to start and listening to motivational music like eye of the tiger and man in the mirror with a graphic of a man crossing a finish line spinning in circles in front of us. The rest of the meeting can best be described as General Conference without the gospel. But, wait! Did I say there was no religion at this conference? Not at all! Right before lunch, Tamara (the creator of the conference) gave us her Jesus Rap, in which she said that all we have to do is accept Jesus and we're saved immediately! Close.... but so far. Dear Tamara: Where did Jesus say to make it all about me?

It also reminded me of that quote from The Princess Bride: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

It's a good thing that Wesley's words were there in my mind to help me recognize a sales pitch. Drop. Your. Sword.

part 14 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 14: being liked
I have to admit, I can't stand it when I think someone doesn't like me. But that is not the point of this post. The point of this post (along with 50% of my posts whether you realize it or not) is that I'm single. Yes. Yes, I am. And every once in a while, I get to thinking why it is that no guys like me. I have documented to you my attempts to become more visually appealing to guys over the years. I have even attempted some you don't know about yet (wearing eyeliner...now you know). But none of those seem to make any sort of difference in their interest level.

When I get in those "no boys like me" funks, I usually try to think of boys that do (because there have been a few). There's that one kid in first grade that kissed me while we were writing at our desks. There was the guy after my mission that I broke his heart so bad that he got married 3 months later. There's even a current "hoverer" that I try to avoid as delicately as possible.

So there you have it. There are guys that like me. This last year has also brought out a new breed of guys that like me. These are ldslinkup guys who profess their undying love in the first feeler message they send out. The only problem: All of these guys are currently somewhere in Africa. I have received countless messages from these guys over the last year. Here is a sampling of the ones I have received in just one week:

"Hello , how are you doing today?
Am good, checked out your profile and am impressed-please can we talk more? By the way, i like your smile too :-)"

"Can we chat dear? I can see yoou are on line
my yahoo Id is *******@yahoo.com
Can Add me now"

"How YOU doin?"

"Hi how are you?its nice to see your beautiful pic.very cute eyes.i am making new lds friends.
what is your name?my name is *****"

"Hi
So nice picture, happy will be the man who will win your heart, I hope he will see the great lucky be with you each day... I would like to know you I hope you like meet new people"

Sadly, none of these include the classic petition I generally receive to be their african princess but I will be sure to post one when I get it.

My other friends on ldslinkup never get the African guys after them, which brought me to the conclusion that I am hotter than my friends. (Or it could just be because I have my mission listed as South Africa) So, when I really think about it, I determine that the whole world likes me! And that knowledge keeps me alive.

Now, which one should I marry?

nobody knows the truffles I've seen

I think I just had the quickest love affair in my life. And now it's over... at least I think it's over.

Two nights ago, our friend Alan taught us to play Bridge. He had just returned from France and brought what I thought to be the smallest box of chocolates ever to share with us. But when he opened it up it had at least 30 truffles all crammed in it, double stacked.

I have never stopped to consider that truffles have any sort of value. In fact, every year I give away the truffles I get from work for Christmas because I don't even want to waste my time with truffles. Why fill chocolate with chocolate?!

That eternal question was answered when I saw Alan's truffles. Or should I say Real Truffles, with a capital Real... and extra italics. Inside his little box was a wonderland - truffly speaking. Every single one was a different flavor! And not just mint and chocolate flavored. I'm talking about Lavender, and Basil, and Thyme, and Anise...and crap (not crap the flavor)! I can't remember them all! I wish I could. I couldn't resist the lavender and had to enjoy it tiny bite by tiny bite.

Yesterday, I thought nothing about it for some reason. But today... TODAY! - I can't stop thinking about them. I tried to find those exact ones online and failed. But, I was able to find several sites that sell similar truffles. Exotic flavors of them. Too bad the good sites, like this one, are in Europe so on top of the bad exchange rate prices, you pay about $30 shipping. But check out these flavors! Seriously - check them out:

ok, I thought I was over the truffles but all this talking about them made me want them again.

I also found this gem of a "chocolate review" site that helped me do most of my research today.

I have never ever seen any value in giving a box of chocolates for a valentines present. But, I think I might actually be willing to marry the man who gives me these.

part 13 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 13: Cheese products

I was going to do a post for each cheese product in my life but I think that might take all 364 parts of the series.

Some things of note about my love affair with cheese...and cheez:

• It doesn't matter the realness or the fakeness (cheez) of the cheese, I will love it. I am a die hard Havarti fan (direct from Denmark) but I also never tire of a Mac and Cheese lunch
• When eating hot foods with grated cheese on them, I actually prefer my cheese to be unmelted, if possible. Ex: With tacos, I am a cheese on top the lettuce fan opposed to cheese right on top the hot meat. Also, when making my egg, cheese, and toast sandwiches I like to place the slice of cheese right on top just before each bite so it doesn't have time to melt before I eat it.
• If making grilled cheese sandwiches, I actually prefer using a fake Kraft single over a real slice of cheddar (probably relating to my previous point about not really loving melted real cheese). It turns out I do like melted cheez, just not melted cheese.
• I like to try exciting new forms of cheese and cheez. For example, let me introduce you to Cheez-it cookies:
  

I found the recipe yesterday while googling all things Cheez-it. By the way, are you a white cheddar cheez-it fan or a parmesan garlic cheez-it fan? (I have a poll going, and I'd like to prove myself right). These cookies actually have Cheez-its ground in the dough plus the cracker on top. They are surprisingly tasty!

What are your favorite forms of cheese and cheez? Here are mine in no particular order (I want them all to feel equally loved)

Cheese:

• Havarti
• Smoked Gouda
• Sharp Cheddar
• Feta
• Edam
• Jarlsberg
• Mozzarella (fresh, please)
  
• Parmesan (block)

Cheez:

• Kraft Singles
• Kraft Mac and Cheese
• Cheetos
• Cheez-its
• Handi-snacks (love that cheez!)
• Cheese Ritz Bitz
• Cheese Dorritos
• Velveeta
  

If cheese were a man, I would so marry him.

In a world where I get tired of eating the same things over and over again I am blessed to have so many cheese options to keep me interested. And that keeps me alive!

Durban

Day 7: The Pavillion and Braai

Highlights:

• Eating my first and only spinach and feta pie at the pavillion
• The people we stayed with who had a braai all ready to go when we arrived
• Our roommates from the animal kingdom: Dogs and Cockroaches
  

Day 8: In Sickness and uShaka

(sorry...this is actually from phezulu the next day. Don't you want to eat at that table?)

Highlights:

• Nursing Tracy back to health after a long night of bathroom visits; chilling with the cockroaches
• Super warm weather at the beach!
• Finally touching the Indian Ocean
  

Day 9: Phezulu and Tala game reserve

Highlights:

• The Zulu dancer that reminded me of Scott (the one on the left)...yes, Mary Ann's Scott
• Holding the biggest Python I've ever held (I almost cried)
• Seeing "wild" animals on a cheap 2 hour drive
  

Day 10: Amanzimtoti and Visits

Highlights:

• Visiting the Amanzimtoti ward again and all the sisters that pretended to remember me. Very kind of them
• Hitting the Toti beach that my missionary flat was on and finally touching the water (no fly eggs in my eye, but a wave did manage to drench my skirt)
• Visiting the Botha's
• Dinner and FHE with sis Ngidi, Thembisile and Jabu. Best night of the trip because of them
  

Day 11: The market, Sis. Mbisana and Driving

Highlights:

• Driving dangeresquely to the Indian market in downtown Durban
• Being blown away by the smell of spices
• Discovering my most hated road interchage in the world as we tried to find my Companion
• The "raping" window cleaner at the stoplight
  
• Driving long and late hours to the Drakensberg mountains and our Hostel we stayed at
  

Day 12: Tugela Falls

Highlights:

• Possibly the most sun I have ever gotten
• Most amazing views I have ever seen
• The 250 meter bouldering portion of the hike that almost did me in and made me ornery
  
• Chain ladders that brought us down the cliffs
• The sweet sockline momento my sunburn left
  

Day 13: Sis Mbisana, the beach, fly out

Highlights:

• The petrol station that could not get any of our credit cards to work
• Spending some one on one time with Kay (my comp) after we dropped Stacey and Tracy at the beach
• Finding Pinky's (a member) house in a miraculous manner and finding her at home, also in a miraculous manner
• One last cooling dip of my sunburned legs in the Indian ocean and we waved goodbye
  

Day 14: Fly fly fly

Highlights:

• Midnight 11 hour flight. Need I say more
• 1am dinner. Who eats at 1am?!
• Being the last flight allowed out of Amsterdam before the airport closed for days
• Arriving at Minneapolis at 5pm, getting our luggage, going through customs, checking our luggage and going through security in time to still sprint to our 5:15 flight
• Somehow our luggage was not lost in all of that!
• Sleeping in my own bed for approx. 10 blissful hours that night
  

That's it! Too painfully long? ....now back to real life, I guess

Cape Town

Ok, sorry for the delay as I got my thoughts together about the trip and decided exactly how many details I wanted to subject you to... I think I will do 2 posts for the two areas we visited. One picture will represent each day. Then I will list the highlights. Ok, all set?

Day 1&2: Flying, flying and..... flying.

(This was not me, btw...you would have found me wide awake possibly staring at nothing in particular for 11 hours straight)

Seriously folks, that was some major travel time. We left Friday morning at 10 and got to South Africa Sat. night at 10pm. ...Jealous of our trip yet?

Day 3: North Cape Town and wineries.

Highlights:

• Driving on the left side of the road. So much more fun than I remember!
• The views we saw of table mountain from the north Cape Town coast
• Wasting time after finding out there was no general conference broadcast at the church by driving out to see the much heralded wineries. They were all closed for Easter, so sorry...no free wine samples for us.
• The views of table Mountain on the drive back into the city
• Finding a coffee shop with wifi to listen to three conference talks live
• The only day we ate at Nandos! Good thing we did at least once.
  

Day 4: Cape Point and Boulders beach

Highlights:

• Finding out that so many things we wanted to do that day "wouldn't be open today" because of either the wind or being the day after easter
• The wind at cape point literally held us up when leaning over the cliff
• Finding the most beautiful beach I've ever been to (not saying much)..pictured on day 7
• Seeing the cute, tiny penguins on Boulder's beach
• Eating at Bertha's in Simon's town. Good food and we discovered that if we share 2 meals between the 3 of us we don't have leftovers to take to the hotel and rot. Plus, extra money for dessert!
  

Day 5: Clifton Beach and the downtown market

Highlights:

• Lazing on a slightly windy beach avoiding the cold water
• Getting swindled at the downtown market (we're so weak at bartering)
• Visiting the waterfront at dusk to take some sweet sunset pictures
• Dinner at the rotating restaurant on top of our hotel
  

Day 6: Downtown museums, Kirstenbosch gardens and Table mountain.

Highlights:

• Waking up to clouds on the one day Table Mountain was open
  
• Finding out it was actually open the day before, our hotel had just lied to us
• Wasting time at kirstenbosch gardens and downtown Cape Town just hoping and praying that the clouds would break
• Finally giving up and heading up the tram into the cloud to see the amazing view...of the cloud
• Discovering that walking around in a cloud causes water droplets to form on every bit of body hair showing and our clothes. Also, it made us cold.
  

Day 7: Turn in rental car and fly to Durban.

Highlights:

• Going through the maze of roads and signs to find the one petrol station at the airport.
• KFC at the airport. You don't even know
• The free mint on the plane (they are so generous in South Africa)

Next up: Durban

hello internet, your face is the same but your breath...

I can't believe I spent the last two weeks without phone or internet service. But, this is how I felt about it:

Give me a snake and I'll be happy.

It was a trip full of ups and downs, but I guess I shouldn't expect everything to go perfectly for 2 weeks straight. Yet, somehow I loved every minute. Every cockroach (ok, I just love the memory of them...and killing them). Every wrong turn. Every 10 hour flight. Every lie our hotel told us. Every elevator squealing through the night. Every view from Table mountain (hint: there was no view). Every sunburn. Every stomach cramp. Every mosquito.

There. Those are all the low points of the trip. Next post will be about the high points.

Side note: I have come to realize today how miraculous it was that we made it out of europe yesterday. Our flight was the last flight allowed out of Amsterdam before they closed the airport because of volcano ash. Good, good, good to be home. And thank you, bathroom sink, for not being infested with cockroaches.

pickers and blowers

It's taken me a long time to get up the courage to talk about this. But, rest assured, I've been thinking about it for a good 2 years.

My mom is a blower. I know I heard her honking blow at least once a day growing up. Dad, on the other hand was a picker (I just know, ok). I saw our family divide down the middle with most of the boys (I don't know about all of them) becoming blowers and the girls pickers (yes, that's me... and sorry, Jo, your secret is out). I didn't really think about this divide spreading across the human race until I moved into my current apartment 2 years ago. For some reason, it felt like I was living with my mom... then I realized it's because every night and every morning, I would hear honking sounds from my roommate above me. Then it hit me: She's a blower! I mentioned it to my other roommate and admitted to her that I am a definite picker. She also admitted to being a picker but had the desire to switch teams.

So, what is the benefit of blowing? I'm pretty sure it would not get the job done for me. Only when I have a cold do I actually blow my nose. But, daily blowing? I can't see how that would produce satisfactory results.

side-note: Just in case you are thinking of switching from the blowing team to the picking team (you know you want to), you should know that being a picker can be risky. I understand that some people are pickers but are more conservative about when they choose to pick. I, on the other hand, have fallen pray many times to the classic blunder of thinking no one is around and it is safe to proceed when that is never, ever the case. When will I learn?

part 12 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 12: Perspective


Sometimes I am reminded that I need to get back to my roots. I remember loving our perspective lessons in my jr. high and high school art classes. In a way, that is my roots. Things that have made me what I am today: an art weirdie that also likes sciency, left-brain things.

But today I'd like to talk about perspective in a slightly different manner. The last 24 hours have taught me a lot about the beauty of comparing our lives to other's. I know, I know, everyone says comparisons never make us feel good about ourselves. But when you come across others with struggles you could only nightmare (opposite of dream) of going through you suddenly become grateful you are only a mid-single old maid living with over-active stomach acid.

Part 1: Last night, while standing unassumingly at a rather public spot in the temple, a brother worker asked me if I would go into the women's dressing room for him and get his wife and tell her they had a family emergency and she needed to get dressed in her street clothes to go home. I had to try to patch this message to her in intiatory and when she finally made it out to where I was standing, I told her to dress in her street clothes and though she didn't ask what was going on, I'm sure her heart was failing a bit at not knowing why they were leaving early. She left to go change and I stood there trying to imagine what she was feeling while dressing. I'm pretty sure I felt enough anxiety in that moment for her.

A few minutes later, her husband walked by and was stopped by the head of the temple emergency team who told him right in my ear shot that a family had member had called about an attempted suicide. It's amazing how being so close (spatially, not familially) to a situation can make me realize how far away my life is from that kind of drama: Perspective.

Part 2: This morning, a coworker brought a card over for me to sign for another coworker who was diagnosed with skin cancer a few months ago. After a few surgeries and tests he was declared clean. But, apparently they have just discovered cancer spread to his liver and lungs. Let me tell you about Andy. He can't be more than 25. From the moment I started working here, he was always super friendly and happy to be around. My heart goes out to him and his wife.

Perspective, you are a cruel cruel teacher. But I thank you, anyhow, for showing me the distance between my struggles and what they could be.

marketing for the reincarnate

I was heating up my michelina's lunch today and decided to wander around the break room looking at the vending machine options.

A familiar sight greeted me:

You see, whoever fills the vending machines in our office complex likes to jazz things up by putting a bunch of random items in one slot for 25 cents each. (if they weren't pretzels and raisin cookies, I'd totally go for it) He also likes to advertise this fact and other items he feels we should take note of with classy sticky notes. I have to admit, I like it. It gives our cold business-like office a down-home ghetto feel.

Are you wondering how I know he's a he? It's because he has my Dad's handwriting. This, to me, is proof that my Dad is still involved in my every day life. Telling me that the cream cheese danish and king sized snickers are only 75 cents is another way of him saying "I know the thoughts, desires and struggles in your life, and I am working on them... I thought I'd start with your office vending."

One thing I've never looked at is the drink machine. So I wandered over to inspect it's sticky:

Now what would you do if you saw this? That's right.. I had to buy it, of course. In my heart I knew it had no chance of coming out as a bottle of A&W rootbeer but I couldn't resist so I stuck my 75 cents in as my pulse raced and I pushed the button.

Apparently dad wanted me to drink a diet pepsi with lime that expired in Feb 2010. Lesson learned.