find my ken in 2010

Ok, let me preface this with a caveat: I'm not talking about my brother Ken. He is a good (perfect?) guy, but I really shouldn't marry my brother. This post is about Marriage. Or my lack of it, more specifically.

I realized a while ago that even though my blog is titled "I saw the elephant" (referring to the elephant in the room) I never really talk too much about the elephants in my life. Let's face it, you probably like it that way. Well, lately I've felt how much my lack of marriage is an elephant in my life and it's time to talk about it. Today is the day. I apologize in advance.

You probably think that I've given up on marriage with how much it doesn't come up in my blog. No. Believe me, it's always there.

When I say I'm looking for my Ken, I really do mean a guy with helmet hair and skin colored underwear. Don't forget the chiseled abs and perfect calves. Also, his arms should only bend to 90 degrees angles making it impossible for his hand to ever reach his mouth (how does he eat!). Here's the problem: I don't think this guy exists.

So...am I really looking for someone TOO perfect? Can I enlist your help to find him?

Here are some things to help you recognize him when he crosses your path:

• He will be my age or younger. Younger is nice because (I will say it over and over again) I want to die first. None of this being the one left alonely while the other is converting thousands at a time up in the spirit world.
• He will have a big nose and minuscule chin.
• He will be strong in his testimony. Is that too much to ask (I really am starting to wonder)?
• He will carry on the Cox male tradition of self-deprecation and constant devotion.
• He will be as clever as me; no more, no less. (I shouldn't ask for more than I can give)
  
• It would be nice if he wore houndstooth polyester slacks every once in a while.

If you see this Ken, send him my way! (bonus points if his name is actually ken)