happy birthday, february

February is a special month. Here are some special things that I have found about February:

Black History Month: Since I am as white as they come, I celebrate this by making countless "BHM" mix cd's with such ethnic artists as: Tracy Chapman, Miriam Makeba, Taj Mahal, Ben Harper, Bob Marley, Otis Redding and Michael Jackson (mental note: remove vanilla ice off my BHM mix...it turns out he's not black).

Only 28 days: You would think February being shorter would make winter seem shorter too, but no.

Month of birthdays: 3 of my favorite people (not including me) celebrate their birthdays in February. That makes February the month with the most birthdays of my favorite people...so...Happy Birthday, my favorite people! (you know who you are). Actually, June maybe takes the number one spot because it is also full of birthdays and one of them is mine...sorry February. But, I also know several people my age who have given birth to all or most of their children in February...not sure what that means...maybe that May is the new Valentine's month?

Abandoning of new year's resolutions: It's the first real month of the year where I can begin to relax on my resolutions again...and the gym crowds start to dwindle...scratch that, I just went to the gym and it was as busy as ever...let's replace that with temple crowds start to dwindle (this I have noticed for sure).

So...February, now that I have proven how special you are, please feel free to come around again in 12 months. But this time give me more warning so I can go out and buy birthday presents.

anger: one letter short of danger

I'll admit it, I have a short fuse. I've already reviewed for you (in my previous post) how I patiently wait through automated systems for customer service reps...needless to say, I have long felt like I have the shortest fuse in my family. Bless them for being so constantly patient with me.

You may think I hide it well, but that's just because you don't know me well enough to have witnessed one of my moments. Moments that cause those in my presence to shrink in the presence of danger. Moments I am not proud of.

Last week was my week to park under the covered parking. Twice, as I was driving up to park, I would be halted by some sort of dodge mini suv that had stolen our covered spot. Of course, both times it snowed overnight while my car was not nestled under it's protective overhang. Feelings of unhappiness and begrudgement followed. My roommate Judith seemed pretty sure that it was our upstairs neighbors who were the culprits, even though they wouldn't claim responsibility.

Fast forward to yesterday: I...

1. Stopped by the library to pick up the next book on my book list: The Dance of Anger.
2. Drove home to my apartment to begin reading: The Dance of Anger.
3. Parked in uncovered parking (it's stacey's turn for covered).
4. Saw that another car had once again stolen our covered spot.
5. Steam flew out my ears and my body writhed as I did: The Dance of Anger.
6. Did The Dance of Anger up the stairs to our neighbor and pounded on their door.
7. Went inside my house and began to read: The Dance of Anger.

somehow I look like a boy, even on the phone

Just to follow up on the last post...last night I had to call Verizon about 12 times because we were trying to upgrade our phones online and it seems that Verizon hates our account. By the time I had put in my phone number and secret password for about the 20th time and then waited on hold for 20 minutes once again, it was hard to mask my thinly veiled anger to the unsuspecting agent on the other end. (My poor family that had to hear me rant and rave while waiting on the line...my anger wasn't so thinly veiled around them).

Then, when the customer support agent finished our conversation and asked for me to validate them: "Have I successfully helped you with all your questions today, sir- er...ma'am?

the irony of a decision

Ok, about a month ago, I decided I was going to grow my hair out. During my 9 or so year stint with "boy-short" hair, I didn't have too many embarrassing moments caused directly by my hair...well, if you're not counting how bad I look in pretty much every picture ever taken of me. I'm certain that's due to me (please, remind me to open my left eye, everyone), not my hair.

Here's a look back at one of my favorite short hair awkward moments circa 2000:

Walking down the streets of new york at night with 4 other girls who also had short hair (art-school field trip...that might explain it) and we walk by a guy smoking on the sidewalk...as we walk by, he says: "Is you a girl? cause you looks like a dude!"

....................................

So currently, I am in the awkward mullet-like stage of growing it out. Still, I was looking forward to being more girly and attractive to the opposite gender. But 3 experiences in one week's time have deterred my faith in my decision a bit (they might also qualify as awkward melissa moments...AMM). Maybe it's like the trial of my faith...only after will I receive a witness that I made the correct decision.

1. On our way home from Texas, the flight attendants were going by getting our drink orders and the attendant looked up from my mom to me and before really looking at me (this is how I rationalize it so I feel better) said “and for you, sir-ma'am?”

2. The next thursday night, I was leaving my mom's house at dusk and the neighbors were going in their front door with their kids. Suddenly I hear one of the kids yell, “Hi, grandma Cox!” All I could do was pretend to be a 60 year old lady and say “hi” back and then jump in my car and drive away real quick. Flash-back: This was likely the same child that came to me more than a year ago while I was washing my car in front of the house and asked: "are you a girl or a boy?"

3. The next day, as I was driving to Hurricane with Stacey and Carla, we stopped in Nephi to get some taco time. We ordered and then sat down to eat, and a few minutes later, the tiny 15 year old that took our order came over and he said, "my boss wanted me to give this to you....I don't know why..." It was a piece of paper upside down...with Stacey and Carla eagerly watching, I flipped it over:
When telling my family the story when I got home on sunday, my mom's response was: "she thought you were a boy?..."

"yeah, mom...that's what she thought...."

ugly outfit day

It was stacey's idea. Sometimes, I think she just comes up with these things because she knows it makes my day to do stuff like this. I told her it reminded me of Katie's "ugly betty day". We should have gone and got mom's ponchos to complete the ensemble. A few things I learned from our day of adventure:

1. My camera sucks at inside pictures...look how blurry and grainy this one is.

2. Stacey doesn't own any ugly pants. I had to let her borrow my pink ones (psst...I wore them to work today), which made them perfect because they are about 4 inches too short for her long legs.

3. I have lots of options for combining clashing colors and patterns. Look at my awesome socks, even...thanks, ange!

4. It's sad when it's ugly outfit day and your roommate doesn't even notice... (me and stacey eagerly listening to judith opening the door... "hi girls....why you smiling so big?....") I wonder what that infers about my everyday (not ugly, might I add) outfits.

5. Fashions are crazy enough right now that only one person mentioned anything to us as we went shopping ("I like your pants..." to me).

6. Dressing insane doesn't stop anyone from thinking you work at barnes and noble:
"hey, do you ladies know the children's book about (some weird name)"
"no...don't think I've heard that one"
some big long story about how his kids got it from the library once and now he can't find it
me: "I would try googling that phrase in quotes and see what comes up"
"oh...I could try that...where's your computer?...I can't find anything in your store..."
"er...I don't know where any computers are....sorry (do barnes and noble employees always dress like this?!)"

7. Even sitting at home doing nothing is a party on ugly outfit day.

8. Winner ugly outfits don't necessarilly give you guitar hero super powers.

9. The excitement of your own ugly outfit can cause you to forget what you're doing when filling your car with gas (ten minutes later...."oh....I should have selected "midgrade" before I pulled the pump trigger.... I get how this works!")

Here's to any future Ugly Outfit Days...(maybe tomorrow?)