farewell: the suit

I regained my faith in mankind a few weeks ago. Then, just that quickly, I lost it again last night. Let me 'splain:

1) By mankind, I am actually not including women here. Just Men...or "Man"... or, more accurately: Boys.

2) It's one of those faiths that you don't realize you've lost until you find it again. Do you ever have that happen?

All clear? Ok, let me go back a bit farther.

The Provo Temple has been closed for the last 6 weeks. A few weeks ago, I was standing at one of the front positions late in the evening. During the half hour I was standing there, one amazing suit after another walked by me, exiting the temple. Not just nice or expensive suits. But a variety of stripes, cottons, tans, baby blues and grays and all perfectly fitting and straight-legged. Said suits left me amazed and a reunited with my ancient belief that man can dress himself; and do it well, if he has to. It also left me feeling a little guilty for checking out many a well-dress-behind as it walked away from me in the temple.

Last night I settled into the same position at the temple; anxious for my favorite show to begin. But to my disappointment, only ONE nicely tailored, brown cotton suit walked by me the entire 30 mins. Upon further mental evaluation, I realized that the Provo Temple is now open. Do you know what this means?

This means the nice suits have always been around. But they are only in the Provo Temple district. What else is in the Provo Temple district? yes: BYU. What does this mean, you ask? It means I am still attracted to 22-24 year old boys. yes: BOYS. How do I adjust my tastes so that I'm actually attracted to guys my age? I better start liking braided belts. Fast.

3 things very dull

Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been waiting for something exciting or brilliant to write about. But who knows when that will ever happen - so instead, I propose a game. You may submit 'either one thing very clever...two things moderately clever...or three things very dull indeed.'

Well I need not be uneasy; as long as I am allowed 3 dull things. And here are the dull happenings of my last couple weeks:

It's so clean and shiny!
A week ago, I was walking into the front doors of my work and heard this clunk on the windows above me and a bird landed at my feet. Now this is not the first time I've seen birds posed like this outside these doors:
But, this was the first time it happened right in front of me! When I looked down, it was a hummingbird and it was still moving a little bit so I bent down (because, hey, I've never touched a hummingbird before) and I pet him a little bit until he stopped moving. Poor li'l fella. Is it gross that I touched him? ...But he was still alive! The next time I walked in that building there was different dead bird, but this time I didn't touch him. I want to make a large sign and post it on those super shiny windows: "Danger!... it may look like trees and sky to you but it's not!"

I am not what I buy...but I want to be
I went to Texas this last weekend and while there we stopped by Hobby Lobby and I found my bedside table! Something about the curve of its build appealed to me. It didn't occur to me until a few days later that I'm drawn to it because I want to live through it. Me, a flat two-by-four, can almost be made curvy just by looking at this thing night and morning.

It also has drawers that easily hold my cell phone at night, of which I am envious. Jeans these days make me look like I'm packing a revolver when I have my cell phone crammed in there.

reason #25 that I am an old lady
I started drinking Ensure. I'm unsure how long this is going to last - my breath smells like an old-folks home for 3 hours after I drink it.

My grandma was recently moved to a different care center and as I walked in yesterday I thought: Wow, my Ensure breath is so powerful, it has contaminated this whole building!

Ok, maybe one day I'll have something clever to say.