Here's a classic Melissa story from right before my mission:
My single's ward relief society had its retreat and all the single ladies met to go camping. Around the fire that night, I sat with all the rest playing get to know you activities. This particular activity was: Tell us your favorite thing about your body. Well, let's just say I didn't have a very good opinion of my body at that time (acne, gangly, big nosy and long toesies). All the other girls were saying things like: "my cuticles", "my nose", "my cute feet", "my smooth skin". As I looked around the fire at the other girls; a lot of whom were overweight, all I could think of to say was: "I'm grateful I got my mom's metabolism instead of my dad's" (cause see: my mom is skinny and my dad was bigger). Many years of heckling and persecution followed such an insensitive comment.
10 years later, I am finally saying goodbye to eating whatever I want, whenever I want. I feel like my life is over. I know, you all feel SO sorry for me, but I hope you will support me during this traumatic time. I'm not sure how my mom's metabolism's death was brought on. It could be the 5lb bag of candy bars that I ate in a week's period of time at work. Or could it be that I suddenly crave food ALL the time instead of just when I'm hungry? (What is that about?!)
Speaking of awkward Melissa moments. I had another one just yesterday:
I don't know how many of you knew that I was dating someone for a few months (pick yourself up off the floor). We broke up about a month ago. Yesterday, at church, these two older ladies that I love greeted me and asked if my special friend was still in my life. I said: "Oh, we broke up". To which, one of them said: "oh, good... good!.... will we be getting an announcement soon?"
I paused to study her face and bent closer to her ear and said: "WE BROKE UP". They then had a look of comprehension come over them but still said: "oh good... good!".
I just nodded my head in confusion for a while until the other one said: "so...did he move out then?"
No wonder they thought it was good!
7 comments:
HAH! They thought you were living together? That is great. Or maybe they thought Stacey was a dude...
My heart is with you during this difficult time of mourning for your lost metabolism.
I'm trying to picture you chubby, but I just can't. I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you are feeling. :) I didn't know you were living with JP. When's the wedding?
sorry about the boy.. hilarious about the ladies though.
They wouldn't be the first to think I was a dude! I still can't believe you didn't really know what it was like to crave food when you're not hungry. Maybe this is just another step in your "be more of a girl" campaign?
I forgot how funny you are.
Funny! I guess it is one of those trials in life to crave stuff we shouldn't have. I've been trying for years to not give in! But the cravings win out most of the time! I don't think you have too much to worry about for about another 50 lbs.! :)
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