part 15 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 15: A listening ear

For those of you who only know me from high school (probably nobody) then you might be shocked to know I like to talk. The rest of you probably already knew this and have already closed your computers at the prospect of hearing (reading) me prattle away yet some more.

I have discovered over the years that my talking through things isn't just enjoyable for me, but also serves a problem solving functionality. You don't even need to tell me the solution to my problem, but just me talking it out in your direction usually guides me to my own answer.

For example: many, many times I have IMed my boss in frustration about some sort of programming mayhem I am caught in and can't seem to fix. Every time, I either come up with the solution myself soon after, or it just magically starts working all on its own. The magic (I believe) is just in expressing my frustration.

I noticed Jeff experienced this same phenomenon a couple of blog posts ago. I do believe his solution was given in a comment... So sometimes the solution is right in front of us and we just need someone to point the way! I think I will try jumping on the magical tell-the-blogging-world-your-problems train and see what happens.

Here Goes: For 2 years now, my car has been dying on me at random inopportune times. I have taken it to shop after shop and no one can seem to diagnose it for me. Myriads of cables, sensors, motors and thingys have been tested, cleaned, replaced and prayed over. Nothing ever tests bad, and if we try replacing something it doesn't solve the problem. 2 summers ago, I tried putting higher grade gas in (though my shop said that shouldn't matter) and driving it on the freeway every 2 weeks and the problem went almost clean away. I think it died 4 times in the next 2 years. That's a heck lot better than 4 times a day. I figured I could live with that, but then 2 weeks ago, it started dying again.. but worse than ever! It would sometimes die 10-15 times just in one day. I started to get really good at driving my automatic car like a stick shift: Neutral, Restart, Drive, Stop, Die, Neutral, Restart, Drive...etc.

So I've been taking it to shops again, hoping someone would be able to find the problem now. But still nothing. No one can get it to die for them (of course) and nothing ever tests bad on the car.

I, of course, have had myriads of theories that I (of course) discover online. The mechanics always scoff at my naive attempts to diagnose my car. But what to do? They refuse to actually prove me right or wrong and in the end, I pay them $80 for a shoulder shrug.

I woke up with my latest theory at 5am this morning and looked it up... so of course, now I am convinced that my problem is the fuel pump. But what do you think? What should I do?

...ok, magic... do your thing. Fix my car, already.

And while you're at it, can you solve the mystery of the missing husband?

all about me

Do you remember that journal everyone had as a kid? It was called "all about me" and had an orange spine with ballet slippers on the front? (I can't find it to show you online, which surprises me because I think EVERYONE had one). It had my favorite color (green), tv actor (harry morgan), and food (mexican) listed in it. That made it All About Me.

My work paid for us to go to the "Get Motivated" conference at the energy solutions arena on Wednesday. Here is the number one thing they stressed about motivation getting:

"Today is all about you, so invest in yourself"

This made me feel so much better about being selfish! I always thought that putting myself first felt good and now I know why! I decided to invest in myself by paying $10 for parking for the event and going to Zupa's instead of Mcdonald's for lunch. But, I think they were hoping I would invest in myself by running toward them with my credit card in my outstretched hand.

The meeting began with us waiting for it to start and listening to motivational music like eye of the tiger and man in the mirror with a graphic of a man crossing a finish line spinning in circles in front of us. The rest of the meeting can best be described as General Conference without the gospel. But, wait! Did I say there was no religion at this conference? Not at all! Right before lunch, Tamara (the creator of the conference) gave us her Jesus Rap, in which she said that all we have to do is accept Jesus and we're saved immediately! Close.... but so far. Dear Tamara: Where did Jesus say to make it all about me?

It also reminded me of that quote from The Princess Bride: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

It's a good thing that Wesley's words were there in my mind to help me recognize a sales pitch. Drop. Your. Sword.

part 14 of 364

Things that keep Melissa alive

Part 14: being liked
I have to admit, I can't stand it when I think someone doesn't like me. But that is not the point of this post. The point of this post (along with 50% of my posts whether you realize it or not) is that I'm single. Yes. Yes, I am. And every once in a while, I get to thinking why it is that no guys like me. I have documented to you my attempts to become more visually appealing to guys over the years. I have even attempted some you don't know about yet (wearing eyeliner...now you know). But none of those seem to make any sort of difference in their interest level.

When I get in those "no boys like me" funks, I usually try to think of boys that do (because there have been a few). There's that one kid in first grade that kissed me while we were writing at our desks. There was the guy after my mission that I broke his heart so bad that he got married 3 months later. There's even a current "hoverer" that I try to avoid as delicately as possible.

So there you have it. There are guys that like me. This last year has also brought out a new breed of guys that like me. These are ldslinkup guys who profess their undying love in the first feeler message they send out. The only problem: All of these guys are currently somewhere in Africa. I have received countless messages from these guys over the last year. Here is a sampling of the ones I have received in just one week:

"Hello , how are you doing today?
Am good, checked out your profile and am impressed-please can we talk more? By the way, i like your smile too :-)"

"Can we chat dear? I can see yoou are on line
my yahoo Id is *******@yahoo.com
Can Add me now"

"How YOU doin?"

"Hi how are you?its nice to see your beautiful pic.very cute eyes.i am making new lds friends.
what is your name?my name is *****"

"Hi
So nice picture, happy will be the man who will win your heart, I hope he will see the great lucky be with you each day... I would like to know you I hope you like meet new people"

Sadly, none of these include the classic petition I generally receive to be their african princess but I will be sure to post one when I get it.

My other friends on ldslinkup never get the African guys after them, which brought me to the conclusion that I am hotter than my friends. (Or it could just be because I have my mission listed as South Africa) So, when I really think about it, I determine that the whole world likes me! And that knowledge keeps me alive.

Now, which one should I marry?